Leaves of all colors decorating the sidewalks? Spirit Halloween stores replacing that old boutique outlet in the strip mall that nobody ever really shops at? Roast turkeys? Bobbing for apples? Chestnuts roasting on open fires? This can only mean one thing: cuffing season is officially upon us.
Cuffing season is the time of the year when everyone and their mother begins dating someone new — or so it seems. Although things may look promising for those in budding relationships, couples in already established relationships tend to butt heads during this time due to a couple of key stressors.
I’ve highlighted three reasons that may contribute to you or your partner’s less-than-cheerful mood during this holiday season, and what you both can do to combat these minor bumps in the road to ensure that your relationship remains both happy and healthy.
Reason #1: Family Differences
Lack of communication is a huge relationship no-no. During the year, you and your partner may argue on matters due to a lack of communication for reasons to do with your relationship, and reasons to do with your relationship only.
However, when fall and winter holidays arrive, it adds something — or someone — else in the mix: family. It’s not uncommon for lovers to have issues with the other’s family members or in-laws, but family is and always will be a touchy subject. Maybe you don’t exactly feel like telling your partner that you feel uncomfortable being around their cousin who may have threatened to burn down your house a few months back… maybe that’s just me!
All in all, sometimes you and your SO’s family don’t exactly “mix” due to personal, political, or social disagreements. And, naturally, that’s bound to cause a tiff.
Whatever the reason behind issues with each other’s respective families may be, it’s still important to talk about it. A solution to this problem can be to set aside an hour or so of “safe space” once a week. Here, you and your partner can agree to be non-judgemental for a short period to discuss these controversial issues. If you still can’t agree, asking a neutral third party for advice can prove to be beneficial. At least one of your friends just has to be a psych major or have a psych degree, right?
Reason #2: Money problems
If you’re a high school student, college student, or recent grad, money is likely pretty tight. There’s nothing cheap about the holidays — everything from gift-giving to costumes require a good chunk of change. That being said, it’s easy to see why money can be a huge point of contention in relationships, especially during this time of year.
An easy fix to this can be to discuss a price range in regards to gifting, or fall activities, with your partner to ensure that one person doesn’t “outdo” the other. This is also an easy way to narrow down possible gifts for your partner by process of elimination due to cost, as the holidays grow closer.
In regards to Halloween, we all know just how pricey costumes tend to be – double that if you and your partner are looking to dress up as a couple. If you’re not looking to spend $50+ a piece on some polyester getup that you’re probably only going to wear once, you can easily DIY a costume using items you can find around your house or for cheap at your local thrift store. Heck, you can even splatter some artificial blood on some clothes that you and your partner don’t care about anymore, which would cost a grand total of $0 for the outfit (and maybe a couple of bucks for fake blood).
Reason #3 Distance
If you and your partner are college students, this one is definitely relatable. During autumn, it’s common that colleges and universities give students a fall break to allow them to go home and decompress after the midterms season. Often, partners are physically separated for an extended period because they don’t live in the same town or state.
The distance can be a point of contention for many couples — perhaps one partner is insecure about the other being alone in their hometown full of past flings, exes, and single people. Additionally, maybe one partner sucks at texting, leaving the other confused as to why their boyfriend or girlfriend may be “ignoring” them.
An easy fix to this problem can be to communicate these insecurities with each other. Establishing a period for “safe space” conversations can be useful here, too. Additionally, another solution for this problem can be to set up times throughout the day dedicated to a Facetime sesh or phone call with your partner! Physically adding events down into a calendar or agenda is a proven way to ensure remembering.
Just because it’s cuffing season, that doesn’t mean that your relationship will be automatically perfect. A healthy relationship requires work, and as long as you’re willing to put the effort in, your relationship may be able to get out of the “cuffing season funk.” Remember: honest communication really is key!