Catherine Paiz always knew she would write her story. It was just a matter of when. “I feel like I’ve been writing a book my whole life,” she tells Her Campus. “I was already preparing [to tell my story] through my journey, and I knew that I was going to write a book.” But she’s not just writing it, she’s speaking it out loud: Her debut memoir, Dolores: My Journey Home, was one of Spotify’s most pre-saved books of all time — and she’s the one narrating it.
On the July 1 release of the book, listeners eagerly tuned in for a deeper look into the woman behind the screen. After years in the spotlight as half of one of the internet’s first social media dynasties, The ACE Family, Paiz stepped forward to share the full story to her 7.1 million followers, on her terms. “The memoir is a very human, very real, very authentic story that anyone can relate to, because we all experience very similar things,” Paiz says.
Despite how picture-perfect her life may have seemed online, it wasn’t. What looked like a dream on screen — a beautiful family, a loving partnership with her then-husband, Austin McBroom, and a larger-than-life mansion — often didn’t match the truth unfolding behind the scenes. And after McBroom was caught cheating on Paiz with multiple women, and the foreclosure of their megamansion made headlines, their social media empire slowly started to crumble.
Dolores: My Journey Home is a story of the quiet courage it takes to step out of the expectations placed on you, and the even braver act of finding yourself. “As a child, I was always looking for a home,” she says. “Through my journey and through my life, I realized that home is actually within. It’s inside of you.”
The title, Dolores, is a deeply personal representation of that journey. “Dolores, the name, is actually my first name,” Paiz says. “My full name is Dolores Catherine Johnston Paiz, but I would just use Catherine and the last part of my name. And my journey ‘home’ is really me coming back to myself.”
The name carries even more weight than her personal history — it was a symbol for everything she would overcome. “Dolor means pain in Spanish, and I really do feel like we, as human beings, all go through pain and sorrow and hardships. It allows us to grow and learn,” Paiz says. “That was the journey I was on, coming back to my true self, and accepting that it’s OK to be human. It’s OK to go through all these things. That will bring you home.”
For Paiz, writing was an act of perseverance. “It was very healing for me, writing out my story and things about my journey that I never shared with the public,” Paiz says. “I always say, when you’re dealing with a heartbreak, ask yourself, ‘What is this trying to teach me? Is this happening for a reason?’”
And when it came to recording the audio version of her book, Paiz knew she had to do it herself. “This has to be done from my voice, from my perspective,” she says. “I’m already putting so much out there in the book. I might as well put it all into my audiobook.”
For Paiz, recording her book was about connection. After years of cultivating a loyal following, she thought it was important that her fans hear this story from her. Still, revisiting those moments out loud proved to be an enlightening journey. “I had to narrate [it] and give it my all, but not be too emotional, and have some reverence and love for the project,” says Paiz. “It was a lot of emotions, but it helped me grow a lot and made me realize I can do this, and I’ll keep doing it.”By reclaiming her narrative, Paiz hopes to prove to others that the things that break you can also be what rebuilds you. The idea of turning pain into purpose is at the heart of Dolores: My Journey Home. “You can look at your life experience and play this victim mentality and say all these things happened to you, but it’s like, no, these happened for you,” Paiz says. “Alchemize that. Look at the beauty. Share your story. We can all relate to each other.”