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Ease Your Anxious Attachment Style With These Affirmations

For some, anxiety is like the one person in your middle school friend group you just can’t escape from: No matter how hard you may try to separate yourself, anxiety might just be clinging to you wherever you go. There are so many layers to anxiety, so it’ll find you no matter what you’re doing too, just to cause some chaos. 

Anxious attachment style can have a direct effect on maintaining healthy relationships as it causes people to be worried about how they’re perceived, and they may adjust their responses to things based on those fears. Additionally, there are four types of anxious attachment styles, including secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant, according to Better Help. 

If you’re at the beginning of your relationship with your SO, or even at the beginning of a self-love relationship, it may seem strange to hear that reminding yourself of how great you are could be a potential aid in overcoming an anxious attachment style. Sometimes all it takes is getting out of your bed rot and telling yourself that you’re capable of anything. If you’re a writer like me, all you need is your favorite notebook or sticky notes along with a pencil, and it’s time to start utilizing these 40 affirmations!

Today will be a good day for me.

I’ve personally been told that if you start your day off by reminding yourself of this, it gives you something to look forward to.

I love myself.

We’ve all heard the phrase ‘If you can’t love yourself then you can’t love anyone,’ and it’s true. 

I am the star of my movie

You truly are the main character of your own life, no one else.

My feelings are valid.

No matter what you’re feeling, your SO will understand you and validate you. 

I am in control of my life.

Others don’t need to make decisions for you because you can handle anything.

I am a priority in my own life.

Mental health is important to check up on, bestie. It’s best to make sure you’re healthy to be the best version of yourself.

I am worthy of being loved.

You’re an amazing person no matter what. 

No one can determine my worth except me.

Only you can determine what that self-worth is based on.

I am worthy of respect. 

Because everyone is worthy of this, and we always treat others the way we know we’d like to be treated.

I have amazing qualities. 

It’s true! You’re great at all of your talents and you have an amazing personality. 

I feel secure in my relationship.

Because even if your partner doesn’t respond to a message the minute after you send it, it doesn’t mean they’re going to break up with you.

I am confident in my abilities.

Your talents are yours for a reason, it’s important to embrace them!

I don’t need to rely on others for my happiness.


I have healthy boundaries with my partner.

Boundaries are important in any relationship and they promote stability.

I honor my boundaries.

If you don’t like a certain activity or person, you don’t need to engage just to satisfy your partner.

Negative thoughts don’t serve me, and I don’t focus on them.

Negativity will just lead you into a spiral, if they don’t serve you then throw them away.

I can focus on my personal goals.

Focusing on things you love does not mean you’re being a bad partner or abandoning the relationship.

I am capable of making decisions by myself, for myself.

Again, you’re in control of your own life; your decisions will be the right ones.

My ideas are valuable.

Although someone may not agree with your idea, it doesn’t mean you should only focus on their criticism. 

My partner and I communicate peacefully.

Your feelings in any relationship are worthy of being expressed calmly and productively. 

I always learn from my mistakes and setbacks.

Like the saying we all learned in preschool, ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.’

I do the best I can every day.

Even if you fail, it’s important to remind yourself that you tried your best and that’s all you can do. 

My best is good enough.

Your best doesn’t always look like someone else’s best, and that’s perfectly fine and normal.

My worth isn’t tied to my partner.

If your partner is the CEO of some giant tech company, it doesn’t mean that your job isn’t as important.

I celebrate my achievements.

Because if we learn how to celebrate ourselves, we don’t need to look for everyone else to be our cheerleaders. 

I am not my fears.

Oftentimes our anxiety can be rampant, but your worst anxiety does not represent who you are. 

I cannot control others’ actions, but I can control my reactions.

Like my mom always tells me, not everyone is going to like you and some people are rude. You don’t have to stoop to their level.

I can give myself the reassurance that I need.

When you become your cheerleader, you’ll realize you know all of the coping mechanisms to help conquer daily anxieties. 

My partner’s moods aren’t my responsibility.

If your partner had a long and exhausting day at work, it doesn’t mean you need to become their punching bag. 

It is healthy to spend time alone, and I can enjoy that time.

It would be nearly impossible to spend every minute of every day with your partner, welcome your alone time with a favorite activity. 

I embrace all of my flaws. 

Perfection is also impossible and we all have flaws, but you don’t need to obsess over erasing all of them. 

My anxiety does not define me.

Sometimes I get embarrassed over what I’m anxious about, but anxiety is normal! Think about it, you don’t judge others for their anxiety, and they won’t judge you. 

I am stronger than my triggers.

Take the time to learn about your triggers and what your preferred coping mechanisms are. After that, you’ll be able to take on any trigger. 

Everything will work out without being forced.

You don’t need to force people into your life, they’ll come in on their own. 

I only accept the love that is given to me fully.

Because no one deserves or needs to accept the love that comes with exceptions. 

I know that my partner loves and accepts me unconditionally.

Remember, a small argument doesn’t mean the relationship is completely over. 

I live in the present, and I’m excited for the future.

If you feel triggered by something that happened in the past it can be hard to remind yourself that you’re living in the moment, but try to remember that you have many opportunities coming your way. 

I am my problem solver, I can find the best solutions.

Oftentimes the only person who can understand your emotions or anxieties is you, and you can figure out how to address those issues better than anyone else.  

I choose to be proud of myself and my achievements.

Being happy about any of your accomplishments isn’t bragging or being obnoxious, it’s embracing what you worked hard for. 

I am strong and capable.

Because no matter what challenges come your way, you can take them on without completely depending on your partner. 

Julia is a national writer at Her Campus, where she mainly covers mental health, wellness, and all things relating to Gen Z. Prior to becoming a national writer, Julia was the wellness intern for Her Campus. Outside of Her Campus, Julia is a managing editor at The Temple News, Temple University's independent student-run paper. She's also the Co-Campus Correspondent of Her Campus Temple University, where she oversees content for all sections of the website. Julia is also a student intern at the Logan Center for Urban Investigative Reporting, where she works on the data desk and is assisting her editor in building a database. She has previously interned at The American Prospect. In her free time, Julia enjoys going to the beach as much as possible, watching reality TV (specifically Real Housewives and Vanderpump Rules), and editing stories.