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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

15 Signs You’re in a Relationship With Your Bed

We’ve let you in on this secret before: some things are way better than boys. Maybe you feel like your most important romantic relationship is the one you have with pizza, wine or Netflix, but we’re willing to suggest that your most important relationship is actually the one you have with your bed. Here’s why.

1. Your bed will neither leave you nor forsake you

It literally can’t move

2. Even if you and your bed go through a rough patch (insomnia), you always find your way back to each other

3. When you think of your bed during the daylight hours, you’re immediately filled with intense longing

4. If your bed is your boyfriend, your alarm clock is probably that annoying girl who you’re convinced is always trying to take him away from you

5. Sharing your bed with anyone else is something that you just aren’t willing to do

6. Instead of curling up on the couch after school or work, you slip into your bed

Tell it your day’s woes.

7. Your pillow has seen more tears than your mom, sister or dog

8. The outside world is frigid, but the comfort of your sleepy haven fills you with warmth and security

9. Literally nothing can get you to part from your bed in the mornings—or during afternoon naps

Or when you’re just lying there, reading Cosmo and wishing the rest of the world would leave you in peace.

10. Your bed encourages you to participate in your favorite activity, and it never scoffs at your love of sleeping

11. You will probably name your firstborn child Clinomania

12. You have a pet name for your bed

13. Date night for you is basically like date night for anyone else. You cuddle with your SO, watch movies and eat a romantic meal

Except your SO is your bed, so you’re cuddling with blankets, watching Fargo by yourself and eating a king-size bag of Swedish Fish. And it’s awesome.

14. “Work from home” = “Work from bed”

15. You aren’t afraid to be yourself around your bed — no makeup, no problem!

What a wonderful place to lay our heads. 

Maddie is a senior at Boston College, where she spends her days fawning over literature and Art History textbooks. She was previously an editorial intern at Her Campus, and is now a HC contributing writer and blogger. Follow her on twitter @madschmitz for a collection of vaguely amusing tweets.