Were you ever considered to be “gifted” in elementary school or high school? Maybe all of your classmates would talk about how smart you are, or your teachers would give you different work because you were ahead of the rest of the class?
That was me, and I’m paying for it now.
Since first or second grade, I was part of my school’s “gifted program”. It was for kids with a high IQ and meant to provide them with extra opportunities. When we would do spelling tests in third grade, my teacher would say the words loudly to the rest of the class, then make me sit at her desk and whisper different, more advanced words to me for my spelling test. They’d be spelling words like “party” and I would spell the word “fuchsia”. To be fair, I was always good at spelling, grammar and writing. I won our school’s spelling bee in middle school.
When my classmates were struggling with a homework question, they would ask me. When I was younger, it was nice getting the attention, but once I reached the pre-teen years, I just wanted to be like everybody else.
As I got older and got into high school, I stopped opting for the extra opportunities my school as offering. Why would I want to take an online math class on top of the one I already had? And have it be harder? Just to put in twice the amount of work. My classes in high school were easy, and I typically got all of my homework done during school. I breezed by assuming I would be valedictorian without really even having to try.
But graduation day came, and I ended up being fourth in my class. Still a nice accomplishment, but to a perfectionist like me, it was upsetting to not be the best.
My college experience has been somewhat similar, and I had that realization just the other day. While I put myself out there and have done great things with extracurriculars in college (including starting this chapter of Her Campus!), my academics have not been my biggest priority and I feel like I’m paying for it now with grad school, internships, and job applications.
I have become extremely burnt out, but I still feel like I could be doing so much more.
Adults who were gifted children are common victims of burnout, especially in their 20s. In fact, gifted adults can suffer from higher levels of stress, anxiety, agitation, and depression compared to their “non-gifted” counterparts. And with the rise of imposter syndrome, it’s no question that gifted adults suffer greatly there as well.
Being gifted as a child can create a perfectionist, who is afraid of failure. They may be less likely to take risks and put themselves out there due to fear of failure or rejection. And despite being highly intelligent, not all gifted people are high achievers because of this.
If you are a “gifted” or “ex-gifted” person reading this and find that you feel this way, you are not alone. This label of “gifted” can affect your career, mental health, and life.
So, what can be done to help? You can pursue therapy specifically designed for gifted adults. According to mytransformations.com, certain types of mental health issues can present themselves differently in gifted adults compared to regular adults, and some people can actually face gifted trauma.
A big step that I have taken on my own to try to help is just practicing forgiveness of myself. Telling myself that it is okay to be human and not to be perfect or number one all the time. I don’t have to compare myself now to the 8-year-old “gifted” version of myself that seemed like she had a better grasp on her life than 22-year-old me.
We are taught that labels are not always a good thing, yet we have had to live with this label of “gifted” all of our lives. It is time to move away from this “gifted” mentality. There is so much more to a person than their IQ or a first-place ribbon from a middle school spelling bee.