In your lifetime, you’re going to come across a lot of different people. Being in university, the hardest thing I had to learn was that not everyone you meet is your friend. And it’s okay, they totally don’t have to be! You’ll come across people who are endowed with character traits that are just dragging you down, holding you back, and simply just getting inside of your head but not in a good way. Believe it or not, as much faith that I have in humanity, there are some people who possess toxic traits. What’s worse is that most of the time, they’re aware of that too. People like this will make you feel like you’re the one with the problem. Trust me when I say that it’s them, not you. They really aren’t looking out for your best interest. So whether you’re on the dating scene or just facing everyday interactions, here are some people you should stay away from.
- The Narcissist
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Another term to define a narcissist is someone who is self-absorbed. Narcissists excessively admire themselves and want others to see, thus they need to be the centre of attention at all costs. I remember when I went out with a guy a few times, all he seemed to do was constantly talk about himself. He never took accountability for any of his actions and was quick to blame others. Anything that I was ever proud of, if I manage to get a word in, was easily dismissed. He never even took a split second to applaud me for any of my achievements. He somehow redirected every conversation back to himself. The whole “me, me, me” phenomenon gets old real quick. Who wants to waste their time being around someone who can’t see anyone or anything outside of themselves?
- The Egotistic
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The one who is totally conceited. Sounds like a narcissist? Well, that’s because they both possess similar traits. While narcissists can be egotistical, not everyone who is egotistical is a narcissist; this is a little confusing. Although narcissists are self-absorbed, they gain from others who fuel their self admiration. Meanwhile, an egotistical person doesn’t need anyone’s approval. Egotistical people only sees themselves, meaning he couldn’t care to showcase that to anyone since they are fueled by his own ambitions. They love putting themselves up on a pedestal, and the most annoying part is that they see no need for self-improvement. They believe that they already know everything, are good at pretty much everything, and simply think they are just better than everyone else. Sometimes, it can be hard to spot as we tend to think these types of people are just overly confident. Basically, if they appear not to be all that humble, chances are they’re egotistical. Not to mention, they will over exaggerate aspects of their lives just to make themselves feel better. Talk about boosting your own ego.
- The Chronic Liar
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I’m sure we have all lied at some point in our lives. Although little white lies couldn’t hurt anyone, I’m not talking about these types of lies. I’m talking about massive lies that could be detrimental to a relationship, such as cheating and covering up. Right then and there, if you’re hiding things from your partner because you can’t have them find out, you know what you’re doing is wrong and that’s certainly a red flag. If a person lies to you for the very first time, it may be easy to forgive but not so easy to forget. If someone’s just piling lies on top of lies then quite frankly, your relationship’s foundation is built on lies. At that point, is the relationship even real if you can’t be honest with each other? If you can’t be honest or can’t trust your partner, it’s time to call it quits.
- The Needy
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If you’re a compassionate and empathetic human being, it could be easy to fall into the trap of someone who is extremely needy. Every now and then, there are just some things we can’t do on our own and it’s okay to seek help, or lend a hand to those who need one. However, overly needy people just can’t be independent. They are attention seeking and constantly harass you to get approval for their own emotional fulfillment. Keep in mind that they may use you, especially if you’re an easy target, through the foot-in-the-door technique. They may start by asking you for a small favors, such as copying homework, before they ask for something larger such as borrowing money. These types of people like to receive without giving and expect you to drop everything for them. If you are constantly lending your time and assets to someone who is needy, they will take advantage of you and expect things from you all the time. Remember, it is very important to say no and to set boundaries!
- The Manipulator
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Manipulators are sometimes hard to catch because they live behind a mask. They’ll portray themselves as being your friend but really, they’re only sticking around for their own benefit. They are super tricky because they know your interests as well as your weaknesses, and will use these to their advantage to get what they want out of you. Truly, they have mastered the art of deception. So, how do you know if you’re dealing with a manipulator? Look out for people who twist your words, make you feel guilty, try to persuade you, and don’t give you time to make decisions. Also, manipulator’s actions will rarely reflect their words. A true person’s colors will be revealed through their actions and that is enough indication to walk away.
- The Gossiper
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We all like a good cup of tea, don’t we? It seems like human nature to want to know what others are up to, but the gossiper gets a kick out of other people’s mishaps. There’s always that one individual who every time we meet up with, can’t stop talking about other people and their lives. At the end of the day, does it really matter what Britney did at a party you didn’t even attend? The best thing to do is to live your own life and remain in the present. Rather than talk about someone who isn’t present in this A-B conversation, why not catch up on each other’s lives and enjoy this quality time together. Because if your friend gossips about Britney, she’ll probably gossip about you too when you’re not around.
- The Critic
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We all need a good amount of constructive criticism every now and then because it helps us grow and improve. But if there’s someone in your life who is constantly critiquing your every move rather than supporting you, that’s insensible. Most of the time, people who are so quick to criticize aren’t actually so perfect themselves. Perhaps this is their output to make themselves feel better. Nonetheless, nothing in their eyes is correct or good enough. A critic has nothing to offer than a whole bunch of pessimism, and really, who needs that?
- The Slacker
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We all know someone who can’t pull their weight, whether it be in a group project or a relationship. People like this are highly unmotivated. In fact, they often really don’t want to do anything at all but somehow think that things will just be handed to them. A relationship like this is totally one sided and at the end of the day, relationships in fact do take work. It’s just like completing a degree: you get out what you put in. Chances are if you’re a slacker, your friend or partner won’t stick around. Carrying around another person’s responsibilities is such a burden, especially when we already have our own.
- The Envious
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Envy is one of the seven deadly sins and there’s a reason for that. Sometimes, envy gets confused for jealousy. According to Dr. Richard Smith and resources alike, envy is the emotion of wanting to have what someone else has while jealousy is a fear of having what you have being taken by someone else. Envy is a two-way street while jealousy involves a third party. Honestly, both are equally cynical. From personal experience, envious people come off to be whiners and complainers who like to throw a pity party for themselves. They could say comments such as, “She’s so gorgeous! I wish I looked like her!” It’s nice to acknowledge someone else’s beauty and life but desiring to possess what they have is only putting yourself down. Instead, you should be grateful for all that you are and all that you have. As for jealousy, remind yourself that the things you have, whether characteristic or materialistic, are secure with you and no one should be of threat to them. If they are, it’s their problem and not yours.
These are just a few types of people you should stay away from, but of course there are many more. Sometimes, it may be inevitable to avoid them in certain situations (like your boss at work). However, if you’re in a situation where you can distance yourself from someone with these traits, do it! The best thing you can do is listen to your gut. You’re intuition is just as valid as your five senses, if something doesn’t feel right to you, it most likely isn’t. If anyone you know exhibits these traits in a consistent pattern, dump them immediately because things will not get better in the long run. However, do it respectfully! Save yourself the time and trouble by walking away. It’s as simple as cutting ties and just saying, “this isn’t going to work out.” Walking away from a situation or person doesn’t make you a coward. It implies self respect and that doesn’t need any justification.