I’ve been dealing with you since I was about thirteen years old. All because of the health issues I was having at the time, and my dad being gone. You’ve made me feel as if I can’t do anything an endless amount of times. You’ve made me feel hopeless, and have made me lose some of the people I was closest too. There have been countless nights in which I’ve laid in bed crying, scared to make a decision because of you. You’ve made me worry about so many things, whether it be something small and stupid, something no teenager should have to worry about, or worrying something will go wrong every time I do something.
I can remember the first panic attack I ever had, my first therapy appointment, the first time you affected my grades. I won’t say that all of our times have been bad though. You’ve made me more cautious of my actions so I can keep myself safe. You’ve made me more aware of my surroundings so nothing bad happened to me.
In a way you make me nervous. So many times I’ve been about to do something and all of a sudden you creep in and take control of my body to the point I feel as though there isn’t anything I can do.
In all honesty I don’t like you! You have been able to take control of my life to the point that I can’t control you. However, it is because of you that I have been able to come to the realization that it is ok to not be ok.
Sincerely,
The girl you are affecting more than you know.