As someone who thrives on making plans and knowing what’s coming next, the past seven months have really pushed me out of my comfort zone. Never before in my life have I had to just live each day the same way, without any “finish line” to look forward to. There’s always been something that I can count down the days to, whether it’s going to a concert or seeing my friends or just having a rare free day to spend binging Netflix and not leaving my house. But now concerts aren’t happening for the foreseeable future, seeing my friends takes a lot more planning because it requires nice weather and socially distanced activities, and every day it’s possible to just stay inside watching TV, which makes it a lot less exciting.
Obviously, there are a lot bigger problems associated with the COVID-19 pandemic than how to spend one’s seemingly unlimited amount of time. The physical health of myself and those around me is my number one priority. However, I feel like it’s easy to forget that mental health in this time of crisis is just as important and often a lot more difficult to know how to prioritize.
Right as I had finally semi-adjusted to life at home, a new wrench was thrown into the mix: returning to college. I was so excited to get back to campus life, to see my friends and roommates and to hopefully feel a little more normal. The thing I so wanted to ignorantly forget about, however, was the fact that normal doesn’t exist right now. I don’t know that the same “normal” will ever exist again.
This was a hard lesson that I learned very quickly, when I suddenly found myself feeling trapped in my apartment with nothing to do and nowhere to go. I wanted to go on spontaneous adventures around town like I did last year. I wanted to be surrounded by thousands of students jumping around at football games. I wanted to be able to study at a coffee shop or visit my friends’ apartments. But the truth of the matter is that this year is unrecognizable from last year and it’s okay to feel disappointed by that. I’m generally a very positive and happy person, but currently, trying to always be positive is straight-up exhausting. Life isn’t upbeat right now and you shouldn’t have to pretend like it is.
There’s no right or wrong way to deal with going to college in a pandemic; there’s no guidebook because no one has experienced this before. Things are uncertain and constantly changing, and it’s a lot of work trying to keep on top of school, your mental health and the stresses that come along with COVID-19. It can be easy to feel behind or feel alone and your feelings are 100% valid. For me personally, I often feel bad if I just stay in my apartment doing school work all day, but I also feel bad if I take a day for myself on the weekend and just try to relax. It’s hard to know how to balance your time, but the bottom line is this: give yourself credit for your accomplishments during the day. You deserve a gold star for simply getting out of bed in the morning, because, let’s face it, it’s so tempting to stay cozied up all day now that it’s theoretically possible (And if you’ve had days where you have just stayed in bed all day, that’s okay too; we’ve all been there).
A balance of school and fun is always important, but it’s more important now than ever. Life is lonely right now, but if you take away anything from this article, I hope it’s this: you’re not alone. So many people are feeling the same way you are. And while that might not help you feel better right away, hopefully you can breathe a little easier knowing that a lot of people are in the same situation; it’s just easy to believe otherwise when you’re not seeing other people on a regular basis. Take time during each day to treat yourself to something that makes you happy: Go for a walk. Do some art. Watch some Tik Tok. Have a dance party with your roommates just because. Don’t feel bad about taking time for yourself; You deserve it.