Let Life Happen To You
Entering college, I felt the pressure of figuring out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. My notes app contains lists of goals and outlines of plans. As a junior, it’s starting to feel like I’m racing against the clock. I know I’m young, and I know whatever path I pursue everything will still be okay. But I am also hyper aware of my peers. It’s hard not to compare yourself when your fellow students are taking the LSAT and posting their internships on LinkedIn. Yet being a junior has also afforded me a new level of maturity. Now, I’m working on my ability to begin to step back and let go.
Hold things loosely. Life is not a checklist. I think life is just something that happens, and it’s up to us to work alongside it. For example, last summer I worked in a college admissions office. It was tough to see the devastation of someone who got rejected from the school they always planned to attend. They were so worked up over the idea of a “dream school” that it was difficult for them to get excited about the schools that did accept them.Â
When I say to hold things loosely, it doesn’t mean people shouldn’t have dreams or goals. It’s understandable to be upset when things don’t go the way you want. But when making these life plans, I think we would all benefit from “planning” for the unexpected. When I think about what I want in the future, I mentally set an expectation that it may not work out the way I hope. I am starting to feel more okay with the idea I may end up on a totally different path. And this is not to say you should prime yourself for disappointment. I think holding things loosely means embracing the spontaneity of life. By letting go of my need to control my future, I can appreciate the vast amount of opportunities ahead of me. Stepping back has allowed me to discover paths I had never considered before, and I think that is exciting. Holding on loosely helps me feel inspired by the unknown, rather than overwhelmed.Â
If you get rejected from your dream school, or the thing you always envisioned for your future doesn’t materialize, take the time to mourn it. But don’t let your rigidness hold you back. Change and disappointment are inevitable parts of life, but I think holding onto the future loosely is the best way to make the most out of it. Goals are an important motivator, and it is noble to want to pursue them. However, failing to meet them is not the end of your life. It could even be the start of something really fun! There is so much of life to be experienced, beyond what any of us could ever imagine for ourselves.Â