Hello. I am 22 and have absolutely no idea what I am doing with my life. Now this statement may not be entirely true, I have a job lined up and everything, but I still feel as lost as ever. When they say your 20s are hard, I did not realize it was a slap in the face kind of hard. The point of this article is to honestly get my thoughts out, and hope that someone out there can relate. This is a hard and stressful time, but it is nice to think that we are all in this together.
Dating sucks. We live in a world where dating and the dating pool as a whole has become extremely difficult, and it feels like we have all collectively lost the “hallmark” touch of just being young and dumb and getting excited about the idea of dating. Tinder has turned into an app for hook up, and most guys I meet end up sending an unwanted or unprompted pic that ends with them blocked and me feeling worse. Heartbreak is also hard. I wish there was a simple tip or trick to get over it, but there is not. You have to sit and think and think until you can’t think anymore. And it’s hard, to go from knowing someone and talking to them daily to nothing. To quote Noah Kahan “I know your name, but not who you are” and it’s hard how painfully accurate that lyric is. It is hard to go from seeing someone every day and them being your go-to to being alone in your room crying alone. This sounds pessimistic, but sometimes that is what is needed, Navigating through feelings and emotions.is one of the hardest things you can do. I know it’s worth it in the end but it is hard to see when you are knee-deep in it.
Work also sucks. With internship taking up most of my day, it is hard to find a current job while I am here. And of course, no job means no money, which is a whole other level of stress. I have a job lined up for after I graduate, but it is not what I expected. I have been spending my whole life planning to be an elementary school teacher, and a few years ago changing to elementary SPED. But after going to my hometown’s career fair, I left with a job at my old middle school for 6th-grade resource. Now I know 6th grade is not too far of a jump from elementary, but the idea is still horrifying. One of my biggest fears is failing my students, and I am horrified that since a majority of my time has been spent in elementary that I am not prepared yet. I am terrified of going in and flopping. I am also terrified of the “these are the best years of your life” trope. I know that I am still young and have so much life ahead of me, but I cannot not worry about life after college. All of my friends will be two hours away, Chi O and HerCampus will be gone, and I do not know what I will do with my time, which is exciting and scary. It is hard when you sit down and have your whole life planned out in high school just to go to college and lose direction. How do you even make friends outside of school? How do you keep yourself from being alone in general? I feel like as the days count down to graduation I am quickly losing my youth to the real world, and it is horrifying. I feel like I need to do my best to live it up while I am here, but half of my college experience was taken away with COVID-19. I feel like I need to cram whole young adulthood into two whole years before it is taken away when we flip the tassel. And I know this sounds over-dramatic and there is stuff out there for adults to do and classes to take and such, but it is still scary to take that leap to try something new. I know failure is normal, but it still sucks when you feel like you are failing everything.
There are some positives to your 20s though. My friends are some of the best people I have ever met. Leaning on them has been helpful in times of stress and heartbreak. I have also been using my time to self reflect and focus on the positive, and focusing on things that matter to me. I have found that going to the gym and taking social media breaks personally help me, as well as painting and going back to the things that little me enjoyed. Life is hard and thats ok, it is good to remember you are not alone in your struggles or life, and there are people you can reach out to. Focusing on your friendships and yourself is one of the most important things you can do, despite how hard it can be. You need to be there for yourself first. It is also hard but necessary to get used to being alone, mentally of physically. You are the the only person with yourself 24/7, and you need to know how to turn the inner thoughts of negative stress into positive affirmations, because those sayings work. I know this article is very debby-downer, but it is necessary to focus on all aspects of life to work through them, but you need to have an even balance. It is important to recognize your rights and wrongs, but also to set goals for yourself to work on the wrongs. In our 20s, this is just the beginning of our adulthood, which is horrifying yet so exciting. We have the rest of our lives to do whatever we want to, with almost nothing to hold us back.The idea of starting over in a new place with a new job is scary, but what if it is exciting? What if it is the best thing to ever happen to you? And as long as you do not let the friendships sizzle out you can carry your college best friends with you for life. All you can ask yourself is “What am I doing with my life?”.