The Thoughts I Have While Working On My Summer Body

Me: steps on scale.

Scales are so rude.

Okay, it’s almost summer… and I need to get my summer body ready.

I don’t fit in any of my shorts.

This is going to be so good for my health. I can’t wait to get in shape. 

Plus I will look bangin’.

Summer is so fun. It is going to be worth it.

I definitely need a new pair of runners to get fit.

You gotta dress the part of the “athletic chick”.

Okay, a good body starts in the kitchen.

 

*Buys a bunch of green shit*

I have been working out and eating salad for a week and I only lost one pound… WTF.

This is not fair.

But I also lost one pound… I deserve a celebratory drink.

*Drinks an entire bottle of tequila and ends up eating a whole pizza*

Sh*t, I fell off the wagon last night.   But today is a new day: to the gym I go.

If I rock FERGALICIOUS, cardio will be fun, right???

Werking on my fitness, he’s my witness OOOOEEEEEE.

OMG I’M SO HUNGRY.

Why is salad never enough?

I really want carbs.

Why does beer have so many calories?

I am so thirsty… and water just isn’t doing it for me.

Oh, who am I kidding?? Being skinny is overrated.