Do you thrive off checking your to-do list to completion, like to have control of your environment, are usually the friend who makes the plans and live your days based on an itinerary? Well, if you relate to these you probably have a Type-A personality like me. You also probably have had a super poor time in lockdown.
Donāt get me wrong, lockdown is brutal no matter your personality type. However, we Type-As face a certain set of mentally straining challenges that come with being locked down. Whether you know youāre a Type-A, know someone who is or are curious about whether this applies to youā may this article bring you some sort of peace in at least knowing that youāre not alone.
A very typical trait of this personality type is the need for control in almost every aspect of life. From controlling your own daily schedule to having a strict daily routine and controlling your surrounding environment. Itās for this reason most Type-A people will resort to being the āplannerā of their friend groups, scheduling their lives months in advance and needing every detail when decision-making. Itās also for this reason that lockdown can be a very stressful and anxious time. Itās one thing to want to be more flexible and loose with your schedule; itās another to be forced into it.
Lockdowns have released us from any and all control of our lives. With restrictions changing rapidly, randomly and without warning, all plans become conditional. This is very hard on someone who thrives on control because even basic daily routines become uncertain. Something as simple as āgoing to the gym at 5 p.m.ā is no longer always a consistent or realistic idea.
This can be a massive stressor and cause of anxiety. It can feel overwhelming, overpowering and make you feel lost as though your life isnāt your own. I know this feeling firsthand, and it was probably one of the hardest emotions to work through. Iām not perfect and still struggle with this heavily from time to time. However, one major thing that has helped me move through this has been choosing to view this as an opportunity to gain a new skill rather than viewing it as a lack of control. Itās an opportunity to allow myself to release control and become more flexible with the changes. Like I said, this isnāt easy. I majorly struggle more than occasionally, and Iāve been working on this for the better part of two years. However, it has caused a lot of that anxiety to be released and that emotion has flowed into drive to complete a new challenge. This doesnāt mean I wake up in the morning and let go of my daily schedules and to-do listsā¦ because I definitely donāt. What it means is that every time thereās news of another lockdown or restrictions, and I feel that rising anxiety paired with hopelessness, I give myself five minutes. Five minutes to be pissed off, angry, rant, journal out my feelings or cry; whatever it is that I need. Then, I remind myself that this is another opportunity to try and grow. Another opportunity to release emotions towards things that Iām not able to control. The key to this is patience and kindness towards yourself. The reminder that this is a goal, and if it were easy, it wouldnāt be something to work towards.
Another huge challenge about being a Type-A personality in lockdown is this big fear of change that many of us have. Now let me explain this – fear of change doesnāt mean having the need to wake up and have everything be the same, every day; the fear of change is different for everyone. The main concept of it though is found to be rooted in the fear of being pushed into experiences or moments that are uncomfortable and out of a zone we feel familiar or in control of. For example, changing into a Covid-setting was uncomfortable, scary and new. As a stress response, our bodies reached to find and claim familiar territory among the unfamiliar, and have used that as a new basis for what is ānormalā and routine. Naturally, as things move and shift towards reopening, thereās a sense of excitementā¦ and a sense of anxiety. Fears of how to integrate back into regular life, how to manage and control your schedule or if you can get used to real life again while there is a lingering fear of it getting shut down. All these fears are rational, but it can be hard to let them stay as just that: fears. Naturally, our bodies want to give into these fears and make them go away; we want to be comfortable. The next few months are going to be hard as we slowly test the waters of āreopeningā to life again and thereās always the chance that weāll get locked down again. Iām not sure how to navigate these waters yet as none of us have gone through it. However, my plan is to handle it the way Iāve slowly learned to handle the rest of my fears and anxiety throughout this experience: with an open and honest attitude. Iāve found when Iām honest about my fears to those around me, itās not only easier for me to place the actual magnitude of them (compared to how big they feel in my head); it also allows people close to me to be a source of support. Oftentimes, many of them are also able to relate to my feelings, leading to a feeling of comfort and security for myself. Although this comfort doesnāt make the anxiety or fear go away completely, it makes it feel a lot less scary and a lot more manageable.
Thereās no perfect way to go about a lockdown. This is a new territory that none of us have faced prior to this. That being said, weāre never getting back the time spent within this lockdown. Just because we canāt do the things weāre typically used to such as going to the gym, restaurants or seeing friends doesnāt mean that these years must be wasted.
Iāve learned more about myself over these two years than I ever have in the past. Iāve grown, matured and changed based on the fact that despite all the bad that comes with these lockdowns ā Iāve never had more uninterrupted time to sit and be with myself. We may never go back to how life was before the lockdown, and even if we do, I donāt think Iāll ever go back to how I was beforeā¦ however, Iām starting to learn that maybe that isnāt such a bad thing