In a world where pretty much every university student has some sort of social media platform (usually Instagram), we are constantly bombarded with influencers preaching self-love. While I would like to believe that most mean well by preaching this, it is often incredibly hard to relate to them when you see the luxurious lifestyles they are living – yes, I too would feel a lot of love for myself if I had the money to look and dress how I wanted. However, as an often-stressed university student on a tight budget, this is an unattainable goal.
What really is self-love? Is it, as these influencers portray, being able to buy yourself a lot of nice and expensive things? I would argue that it is the opposite.
Self-love to me is something that comes from inside. Essentially, it involves having enough confidence in yourself to recognize that you need to actually like yourself to ever feel like you are truly fulfilled in life.
Easier said than done, I admit.
For me, this has been an uphill battle. I have good weeks – ones where I feel like I have everything together, am doing my best and feel that this positive energy projects outwards.
Other weeks, I look in the mirror in the morning and cringe. I don’t recognize the person looking back at me and I don’t like her.
Usually, these periods only last for about a week. However, as the weather gets colder and the sun sets at 4pm, they begin to last longer.
If you feel this way, you aren’t alone. While you may not be able to cure these feelings overnight, there are a number of things you can do to reduce that “ugh” feeling.
The first thing I do when I feel this way is reassess the way in which I have been engaging with social media. Is there someone I am following who is making me feel inferior? Is there someone I am comparing myself to? Often, I’ll find that I’ve been subconsciously comparing myself to someone else. To rectify this, I suggest putting their account on mute – or just unfollowing. If it’s an influencer, it’s not like you really knew them anyway.
Next, I’ll engage in some form of self care. Sometimes this is as simple as taking a shower. Other times, I’ll take extra time and do a face mask or paint my fingernails. While this won’t completely fix negative feelings, it may work to lift your mood.
Self love isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s like a muscle – flex it often by taking steps to take care of yourself (no matter how busy you are) and you will see yourself flourish.