This article is dedicated to “those days” that everyone has. The days where we feel insufficient. The days where we want to hide away from the world and just be invisible. It’s a terrible feeling, this self-diagnosed inadequacy. This experience is very real, valid and common amongst young adults but that does not mean we should give in without a fight. I won’t claim to have a solution, but here are some things I turn to when I’m in this state of self-hate.
1. Shower
Showering may seem like a dumb suggestion, but honestly, when I’m having a rough a day a hot shower feels like a luxury. Personally, I feel like it washes away a lot of negative feelings. Afterwards, I often feel fresh new and ready to move towards taking on the rest of the day.
2. Hit the Gym
Instead of beating myself up over things beyond my control, I like to hit the gym. There’s something indescribably relieving about blasting my favourite tunes and sweating it out. This gives me both energy and confidence.
3. Visit Your Hair Stylist
I don’t know about you, but one of my biggest insecurities is my hair. If I don’t have time to style it, I will be obsessing over it ALL day. So one of my favourite tricks for battling this insecurity is treating myself to a wash & style! This works wonders for my own perception. I recommend Xcentric Hair Studio.
4. Change: Your Clothes
Looking good is associated with feeling good. That being said, a nice outfit may not improve your circumstances, but oddly enough it may help your mindset and ability to get stuff done (like the boss you are).
5. Change: Your Mind
If you’re feeling negative vibes all around, take a step back and breathe. Self-doubt can be very draining and overwhelming. Sometimes it helps to clear your head. Take a walk, watch an episode of your favourite show, cuddle with your cat, take a nap, or hug a tree.
6. Make a List
Write down a bunch of positive affirmations. Write down all of your talents and strengths. Be generous with yourself. For example: “I am a good student, I am a good volunteer, I am a good employee…” Once you have your list (exaggerations are encouraged), read it out loud. Be your own number one fan.
7. Phone a Friend
Call your best friend, your mom, your neighbour, whoever you trust most and tell them about how you are struggling with your self-image. If the two of you have a healthy relationship, they will help build you up. Sometimes all we need is a little external encouragement.
8. Build a Barrier
It is up to you to actively block negative thoughts. Most of the things we obsess about other people will not even see it in us because they have their own insecurities to obsess over. Don’t let the fear of judgement get you down, be thankful for the qualities you like about yourself and continue to work on wholly loving yourself.
Life is too short to live in doubt, fear, or shame. We are all beautifully unique individuals who all have various “toolboxes” to help us navigate in life. We don’t have a lot of say in the tools we are given, but we have ample control over what we do with these tools and the lives we construct with them. So, please, recognize those days for the sake of moving beyond them, but don’t let them consume your potential.