Can't Spell Masturbation Without "U"

I clearly remember the first time a friend of mine told me that she loved to masturbate. I did too, of course, but had never ever dreamed about admitting that to anyone. She continued to tell me the specifics of her masturbation routine, with hand flourishes and satisfied sighs.

French girls… they really are the best.

Many years and lots of practice later, I am a proud “masturbater” and I’m here to tell you about the joys of regularly “polishing your pearl."

Set the Mood

I’m a firm believer in romance. Before you settle in to satisfy yourself, set the mood. By that I don’t mean that you should feel inclined to light an obligatory candle or turn on Norah Jones - just commit to your needs. Sometimes that “need” may be an urgent, quick, in-between online lecture masturbation or it may be a marathon endeavor (remember to stay hydrated). Either or, commit to your needs without shame or hesitation. It always pays off. 

Embrace Accessories

Just like your favourite worn-leather backpack or Blue Jays hat, every girl needs a go-to sex accessory. I have explored the sex toy jungle like Christopher Columbus explored the new world (except in a less problematic way). Not only do you need to decide what shape and length works the best for you, but you also need to find your optimal texture too (firm, glass, spongey, rubbery). Then there’s the vibrating options, and the themed toys (Christmas, aliens, even Harry Potter, hello Hagrid). The first attempt with a strong vibrator can feel like you’re taking a meat tenderizer to your body, so approach with caution and learn your limits!

Explore your Kinks

Since we’re airing out our dirty laundry here, I’ll just say it - the best laundry is kinky and wrinkled. Don’t be afraid to dive into those fantasies you’ve thought about in passing and blushed. Try different mediums to accompany your self-satisfaction (porn, written word, even ASMR sex). Get to know yourself more, and don’t worry - it’s just between you and, well, you.

Tip: Make sure you turn your Spotify offline before you pick an extra-kinky ASMR track to listen to, especially if your friends and family follow you.

Make It a Group Project

Don’t be afraid to invite your partner into your solo sexual routine. A positive relationship should encourage masturbation. It’s healthy and stress-relieving like yoga except you get to orgasm at the end (unless I’m doing Shavasana wrong). Let your partner watch, take notes or get involved.

It can be hard to find ways to take care of yourself, especially during extra-stressful times. I know for certain I’ve never masturbated and regretted it, so take care of yourself ladies.