My mental health story isn’t my own; it doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to a friend who I lost in October of 2016. My friend lost her battle with mental health, and these are the things I wish I could/would have said to her:
I want you to know how sorry I am that you were in a dark place all by yourself. No one should have to walk their path alone, and I wish that I could have been there to hold your hand and pick you up when you fell along the way.
I wish you would have yelled. I wish you would have SCREAMED, so that someone, anyone, would have heard your voice. Your voice deserved to be heard.
I wish that there was another way. Once you hit rock bottom there are so many ways back up. Every day I imagine what it would have been like if you had found your way up.
I want you to know that your smile changed my world.
I want you to know that I am confused, I have so many unanswered questions. I want you to know that there is a gap and you are the missing piece.
I need you to know that I miss you every day.
When I started high school I was so scared; I didn’t know anyone, I was alone. In second period Spanish class on the first day of grade ten, I walked into the room and the only empty seat was next to you. You were my first friend. We ate lunch together everyday; pizza with ranch was our favourite. We took a trip to McDonalds only to get rear ended on the way there, but we still managed to get our Big Macs. We pronounced mosquitos as moz-qweet-os just because we thought it was hilarious. Every moment we spent together was filled with so much happiness.
That’s how I choose to remember you, as the happiest girl I have ever met. Because when we were together that’s all we knew: happiness. Life was easier then, I guess.
I can’t say it doesn’t hurt, because it does. But, what I can say is this:
Life is beautiful, please stick around to see it. Your bad days don’t define, and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
If you or anyone you know needs help, please seek it before it’s too late.
Mental Health Helpline: 1-866-531-2600
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