My First Vibrator

Okay. So I want to talk about vibrators, but more specifically, the one vibrator that will forever hold a special place in my heart. My very first pretty pink vibrator. I thought a lot about vibrators before I got mine because honestly, they were just so intriguing to me—seemed like a good time. I wanted to get my hands on one but it didn’t seem realistic nor possible living at home with a whole house full of people.

Eventually, I moved out, but I went straight from sharing a home with my family to sharing a bedroom with a stranger. Thin walls were annoying, but never knowing when your roommate was randomly going to barge through an otherwise locked door really killed any kind of mood. I vividly remember sitting around with a bunch of my friends listening to them discuss the vibrators they had all just bought and how absolutely life-changing they were. I was both bitter and apprehensive. Bitter because, well, the obvious. But apprehensive because, could a piece of silicone that buzzed really do such great things? I could get off just fine the old fashioned way, and that required no special cleaners.

Still, the day I moved into my own place with my own bedroom, I was online researching. I looked at different websites taking into account things like discreet shipping, volume, and batteries vs. rechargeable. I thought about aesthetics vs. not wanting to break the bank, and materials. I also looked at toy cleaners and different kinds of lube. I must have clicked in and out of articles on at least twenty different occasions, never able to bring myself to hit “purchase.”

Finally, finally, after a solid year (or so) of thinking and waiting and wanting, I went to a sex store with a friend of mine. I stared at the walls and touched the displays and read the back of everything. Despite my year(ish) of research, I still wasn't exactly sure what was right for me and I was overwhelmed by choice. I think I spent an hour in the store with my mind just blown (ha!), repeatedly telling the store clerk that I didn’t need any help. (I really should have let them help me but I was embarrassed at the thought!)

I walked out of the store with my wallet considerably lighter and a black shopping bag concealing not just one, but two vibrators, a small bottle of lube and a toy cleaner. I got a strange look from an old man outside but I laughed with my friend, feeling an odd sense of pride (and honestly, a little bit of something else!). Despite my love for my friend, I all but kicked her out of my house that night, eager to play with my new toys.

And then, bam! It all clicked. Everything everyone had been talking about. That screaming O that everyone bragged about. It was all possible with the help of my little pink vibrator. It. Was. Amazing.

My first vibrator changed me and my sex life. It gave me a lot of confidence and power over my own body. I can walk into a sex shop without any hesitation now and tell the clerk exactly what I am looking for. I still have my little pink friend in a drawer beside my bed, always there when I need her. But needless to say, I now have six little friends all with their own special little quirks.

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