I never thought I would ever admit this to the world but here it is—because I believe being candid about your experiences is the way to live.
Last year, in my third year of university, I got my first ever 69 on a paper.
I cried. What a terrible mark to receive—he couldn’t give me a 68? Maybe even a 70? But a 69? Really, a 69? At least if I got a 68 I would know I deserved a C, but a 69? How was I meant to react? My little pea-brain mind went in the gutter and then it stepped out of the gutter into a realm of pure anger directed at the TA who had graded my paper.
I marched over to his office hours after sending him a strongly (but respectfully) worded email asking him to explain how he came to the grade of 69. My mind was filled with frustration and anger, all directed towards my TA.
I sat down in his office, and as I was trying to explain my thought process, I found myself tearing up in complete and utter frustration. In my mind, the theory was there, as was the connection to the text.
The one thing I remember saying was, “I’m not a 69 student, I swear.”
To which he responded, “I know that, but your paper doesn’t say that.”
He walked me through my essay and told me where I had missed specific information. He was basically telling me that I didn’t put everything on paper which left holes in my argument. Still feeling frustrated, I kept pestering him about where I truly went wrong. This line is one I will remember for the rest of my life:
“Your thoughts were too ambitious for this paper.”
Ambition. Okay—but why was that bad considering I was an English major? After leaving his office with satisfactory understanding of what he meant by “your thoughts were too ambitious for this paper.” I found myself still puzzled by the phrase for months to come.
Reflecting on it months later, I realized he meant that the scope of the paper didn’t match what I wanted to say. And so, here I am a year later, laughing at the story because I learned so much from that experience. I learned that he was right, and I truly was just fueled by anger. And even though he gave me the option to rewrite the paper, I didn’t take it.
Why? I genuinely believe that, although I could’ve gained a significantly better grade, having a 69 on a paper worth 20% made me more aware of how I should approach writing each paper. And that being meticulous in both the thought process of writing each paper and the actual writing itself. In all fairness it made me a bit more aware and allowed me to consider the effort I put into every paper I wrote.
Keep your Cs, kids—they keep you humble.
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