I am terrified about graduating… the excitement part hasn’t yet seem to hit me.
Instead of being thrilled that I have completed four years of University – I am scared of all the unknown change that is now coming my way…
I have laid awake countless night thinking about each of the following fears endlessly….
FEARS
1. That I will start to fall out of touch with my roommates and friends.
2. That I will feel lonely, having left a life I’ve lived for four years straight.
3. That I will not find the job I have been working so hard to get.
4. That I will stop learning and participating in important discussions.
5. That I wont have as much fun as I’ve gotten to experience at school.
6. That I’ll really miss living with my friends.
7. That I wont have any money to support the things I want to do.
8. That I’ll get so caught up in some job that I’ll forget who I really am.
9. That I’ll become so busy that I wont make time for me – or the people that I love.
10. That long distance will cause tension in my relationship with my partner, whom I love.
But, it’s time I stop freaking out… It’s time I breathe and try to look forward to this next step.
So, in order to re-organize all these deep fears, I decided to sit down and turn each of them into a mission – on how to beat that fear and make it dissapear.
Below is what I came up with.
MISSIONS
1. I will skype, call, or visit with at least one of my school friends every single month.
2. I will look for a new hobby where I am living, and commit to spending my free time doing something I enjoy – like writing, or walking, or joining a chairty committee.
3. I will not be too hard on myself when I don’t land the perfect job right away. I will remind myself that I must still work hard and not give up – things will work out if I keep on trying.
4. I will keep learning – I will keep exploring. I will not allow my brain to turn to mush over trash tv alone. I will read a newspaper!
5. I will make sure that I do at least one “fun” thing every week. Everyone needs a break and a little laughter to keep them sane. I will make drink plans, movie plans, bowling plans, or dinner plans.
6. I will remind myself that where I live right now is not where I am going to live forever. I am not stuck. With the right plan and the right dedication, living with my friends again is completely possible.
7. I will commit to saving my money so that I can use vacation time to do what I love – travelling. I will not blow my money on things I do not need – I am an adult, and can make adult decisions. I will also not stay silent about my struggles – if I need financial help, I will reach out to my parents and remain honest.
8. I will make it my ultimate mission to take care of myself first. I will eat well, exercise, and check in with my friends and family concerning my mental health. If I feel like I am struggling, I will reach out and I will re-prioritize my work… my well-being is more important that any job.
9. I will call my parents every week to keep in touch will them. I will visit during all holidays and in any extra time I have. I will not forget that family comes first, and that it is they whom I owe all my success to.
10. I will call and skype my partner as much as I can. I will make it a priority to visit him, and in return hold him accountable for also visiting me. I will not give up on someone just because it isn’t as easy to see them as it use to be. I am an adult, and I must be prepared to make sacrifices that will better my future.
Wrtiting each of these out has truly made me feel less anxious and more at ease about this new journey… When we give ourselves a plan and something to look forward to, our fears don’t seem as big – they seem almost silly.
I would encourage anyone else who is graduating to make their own list like this… I mean, it can’t hurt.
Wishing you all the best,