I, along with many other people, take the time of a new year as a time to reflect. Reviewing all your past endeavors, appreciating the good memories, acknowledging the lessons you learned. For myself, 2024 was such a transformative year. I feel like I have gained a lot of knowledge from my experiences. But it is important to note these pieces of advice are driven from my personal experiences.
Keep in mind the lessons we learn may come at us when least expected, but that also means there could not have been a better time to learn them. We may be taught life lessons in harsh ways, but what you do with the information is fully in your hands. You don’t have to agree with everything I say, but proceed with an open mind.
- Everyone is capable of change
No one is likely to stay the same. Our experiences and different exposures throughout life shape us into who we are. Expecting someone’s character to stay the same all throughout their lifetime is an unrealistic expectation.
- True colors always show
The truth behind someone’s intentions will always be exposed, it’s as clear as that.
- You’re more than the doubts other people put on you
Everyone holds their own opinions and standards. Just because you do not fall into what they consider is right, does not make you any less of a person. You have standards custom to yourself, so what someone else thinks is irrelevant to who you actually are.
- Always cherish time with family
Not everyone is fortunate enough to be surrounded by their family. Don’t take your time with them for granted because time flies and people age. You can’t replace your family. They all each hold a role in your life. Appreciate their role and the importance of family.
- The most consistent relationship in your life is yourself
The relationship you have with yourself should be what you put the most energy into. Between breakups and friendship fallouts, at the end of the day you are all that is left. You on your own should be just as valuable as others are to you.
- Truly supportive people in your life look past your flaws
Those who matter don’t mind your flaws, and those who do mind your flaws don’t matter. Valuable and genuine relationships look beyond your weak points and support and love you for how you are. They see the good in you.
- Future plans are the most present ideas/fantasies, (read that again) – literally anything can happen
Whatever you plan for the future is something your present self is imagining. Nothing can be guaranteed for the future. So whatever you imagine or dream of is actually just a present tense fantasy. I’m not saying to not have dreams and goals, but also ground yourself to remember that nothing in life is guaranteed. So your current plan and dream may never happen, don’t put all your time and energy on a what if.
- Don’t take what you have for granted. It’s so easy to look beyond
Nothing is forever. Value what you have at this very moment. Whether it’s a person, a group, a pet, or a physical object, it’s easy to be so used to something being in your life. But anything can go away in an instant and you don’t want to be stuck with regret of not appreciating it more at the time.
- Real friendships don’t require forced efforts
If a friendship with someone is genuine, it won’t need to be forced. True connections happen naturally. You won’t need to constantly insert yourself or remind them that you exist. Their intentions will show through their actions and words. People may also get caught up in life where you don’t stay connected as often, but reuniting will feel the same if that connection is genuine.
- Effort is an individual choice
You can’t force effort out of someone. If someone wants something, they put effort towards it, and if they don’t, their actions prove that; it’s as simple as that.
- Repeatedly giving the benefit of the doubt becomes just an excuse
If you keep allowing bad things to happen and letting it slide, you are making excuses and putting yourself into that position. Recognize the repeating behavior, address it, and act on it. Don’t let yourself get continuously walked all over. Making endless excuses for something/someone will only hurt yourself in the end.
- Female friendships are the best rocks
Obviously this is directed to my girls…female friendships are so valuable to our lives. Females understand females. Men do not align equally to us and our thought processes. Men come and go, but a female friendship is essentially your lifeline. Do NOT give up a female friendship for a temporary man (the right one will respect boundaries).
- No one judges you as much as you judge yourself
You are your biggest critic. No one studies you as much as you do so to yourself. Those details you obsess about are not even considered by others around you. It’s not worth obsessing over or beating yourself up about it, no one is looking that closely. Remember we live on a floating rock.
- Don’t save it for a special occasion
That future occasion you are saving for may never happen. Don’t wait, live in the present. Give yourself the best option for right now. Every moment is special. Treat every moment like it’s your last time doing so. Whether it’s a hairstyle you wanna try, a favorite perfume, or a new outfit; wear it, no questions asked.
- Don’t ever change for someone else
Changing yourself or your tendencies requires a lot of effort. It’s not worth putting all that energy into it, especially when it’s being done for the wrong reasons. It will likely get overlooked by whoever you did it for. Your amount of given effort will never be equal to their level of appreciation. It’s simply not worth it catering to someone else. Be yourself, and if that’s not good enough to someone then question their role in your life versus your role in theirs.
- Animal emotional support is a powerful form of emotional support
Speaking from personal experience, whether it’s a therapy dog around campus or bringing my cat to school with me, they both hold a significant influence on my emotional state. Volunteer at a local animal shelter, adopt an animal, or bring your pet from home to school with you. Try it, your life will change.
- Life is worth living once you find worth within yourself
When you invest time into yourself and appreciate your worth, time will feel like a gift. Treating yourself with love will better your mental state and all around better your life.
- Constant negativity is a projection of someone’s character
Complaining and seeking out the negatives is no way to live. It’s also someone you shouldn’t spend much time around because they will project their negativity onto you. If all they ever say is something negative, imagine how miserable living like that all the time is. People also deflect their insecurities onto other people. Brush it off, don’t take anything personal, and know it’s their own insecurity talking.
- Love never dies, it just gets buried by newer feelings
Love is so powerful, I don’t believe it can just go away. Rather than going away it gets buried by newer feelings coming into our life. It’s always still with us, but its power is lessened.
- EVERYTHING is a mindset
There’s two sides to literally everything: both positive and negative. You can choose which you focus on. If you focus on the negative that’s all you will see and you won’t be happy. If you focus on the positive your life will feel so much more fulfilled. Wherever your mind steers and your energy goes into, will become your reality. How you live your life is strictly up to you and your mindset. Nothing about life needs to be perfect to be happy, just knowing how to look on the brighter side of things will make living so much easier and more enjoyable.
- You will only heal if you face what you are healing from
Grief and healing is an extremely powerful part of life. It takes a lot of energy and emotional capacity. But if there’s anything I learned out of personal experience, you must face what you are grieving. You have to sit with the feelings, and accept them. Ignoring it or finding temporary fixes will do more damage. It’s the harder decision to face your feelings, but it will make you so much stronger in the end. It will take time, and that is normal. Healing is not linear. You won’t see improvements in a week. You may have a day where it is more relevant than it’s been. Don’t beat yourself up if you thought you were past something. Sit with the feelings, understand what triggered them, and move onward. You can’t stop yourself from feeling so learn how to cope with it in a healthier manner.
- You have the power to make anything your reality.
The power is in your hands to bring new things into your life. Anything is possible. With a little effort and dedication, you have full potential to alter your reality. You can change your lifestyle to be however you want it to be. Do what you want! Take risks! Don’t doubt yourself. Push yourself. Try new things because you never know what can come out of them. Plus, you will never know until you try.
- Everything in time: healing, growth, change
Accept gradual change. Nothing is fixed in the world overnight, and this includes ourselves as well. If you are trying to grow into a better person, you will see a gradual process. You can’t rebrand yourself just within a day. If you are healing from something, you can’t just sleep it off. Healing requires time. If you are grieving, there is no estimation of long till will move on. Take the time you need. If there’s anything we have in our lives, it’s time.
- Protect. Your. Peace.
Put yourself and your needs first. Don’t worry about people around you, or how it may impact someone else. Those who matter don’t mind. Do whatever you and your body needs. The outside world does not matter as much as you do. Don’t follow societal expectations if you don’t want to. Live your life how you want to live it. Protect yourself by listening to yourself.