*Trigger Warning*
The fall is a really weird time for me. When it starts to get cold, and everything starts dying, I look back at my own life and start to think everything over.
I look back at when my childhood died, just like the leaves on the trees.
I was six years old when it happened, but it still haunts me today as almost an eighteen year old. I used to think that time would heal, and I wouldn’t have to work at acceptance.
Dealing with trauma is a process that never really ends. It’s been twelve years, and I’m still trying to process and heal. Sometimes I’m okay. I push it to the back of my mind and I can function. Sometimes, it hits hard and persists for days. I thought I was broken, because I still hurt after twelve years. But my friend Mattie told me, “It’s okay that it’s a lot, it sucks, but it’s normal”.
It’s normal to hurt years down the line. It’s normal to still think about it and be affected by it. Working through trauma is a long process, but it’s important to process, when you’re ready.
Whether you were hurt yesterday, or twenty years ago, any feelings you have are valid. YOU are valid. You can get through the tough times. You are so much more than your trauma.