Self-love is not as simple as 1-2-3. It takes practice, perseverance, and a lot of changes in perspective. Something that I am beginning to learn is that it is not enough to just act confident. I think that this is an old trick that people use to cover their anxieties without really ever taking the training wheels off. At some point, we have to let go of the ‘fake it till you make it’ as a FIRST resort in ALL situations, whether it be body image or [some other situation]. Sometimes it’s easy to pass through a special occasion or presentation with a veil of temporary courage – but we all know that once you come back to the privacy of your home that veil is immediately ripped off.
Our feelings about our insecurities might fluctuate with our water weight on certain days, or depending on what color shirt we wear, and it’s okay to love yourself one day and not the next. Although the mind is most powerful, sometimes we just can’t control the darn thing and what it does to our body. What we can control, though, is our mouths. We have near complete authority over the things we say about our bodies. Chances are that if you are someone with a negative self-image, the things you say about your body are usually rather negative. In fact, I find that I still say self-deprivation things often, like ‘gosh I look so big today’, ‘this shirt would look so much better on someone else’, ‘my stretch marks are so visible in this sunlight’. The thing that we fail to recognize is that these phrases and verbal expressions come from practice. If you practice delivering words of self-hate to your body, it becomes second nature to put yourself down.
So how can we change this? How can we change the way we verbally present ourselves to others? How can we change the language we use when referring to our bodies? I believe that a good place to start is by practicing a better set of expressions. To some, the prospect of practicing verbal self-love each day sounds preposterous– but it might just save others and increase their ability to find the truth, not as a barrier. If you find that you have any amount of self-doubt or lack of confidence, here are some phrases you could begin to practice saying to your body:
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I love myself today.
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My hair is very soft today and bouncy today.
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These jeans accentuate my curvy, unique legs.
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My stretch marks are my stretch marks. They will be my longest and oldest friend.
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This color really makes my eyes pop. I should love my eyes.
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These wrinkles are memories from my favorite days in the summer sun.
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My skin is glowing this morning. I feel good today.
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I’m beautiful in my own way. No one has my features, and I will celebrate that.
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My body feels good today. I feel very young and relaxed.
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I love that my body takes care of me. I will return the favor and love myself.
Look into the prospect of practicing this with commitment and excitement. If you decide to try this, let us [Her Campus] know what you think, and share your own/favorite self-love phrases. You are your body, and your body is important. Always remember to show some sort of love to yourself, and speak kindly to your body.