When I started university, I wanted to make a lot of friends, join extracurriculars, and of course, get good grades. I had a whole plan and vision of how my university life will be. Get above 80% in everything like I did in high school, get a group of friends that you can do everything together with, get a boyfriend at some point in time, join the most popular clubs on campus, and get an amazing co-op position at a huge company. I had a belief that everything will work out and be great.
In my first year reality struck me first when my grades were not like they were in high school. I kept criticizing and putting myself down for it. I had a group of friends that I hung out with all the time but it felt like I didn’t belong. I joined clubs such as the finance club and DECA for it to look good on my resume but I was never that interested in attending their meetings and events. In the second year, I applied for jobs at the top companies, no matter what the position. Even though I was following my plan from the first year, I wasn’t happy. I felt that something was wrong, something didn’t seem right for me. I did not feel aligned with the plan I had thought out to be so great.
After trying to stick to my plan and staying unhappy, I decided to change my plan in my third year. I started by reducing my extracurriculars to one per semester and actually trying the ones that peaked my interest such as becoming a workout buddy and volunteering with ICSN. I started realizing that half the courses I was taking, I had no interest in them. The ones that I was interested in, I started to look for other courses and options I can do in the future. Instead of having that big group of friends, I started to spend time with smaller groups and individuals who I felt comfortable with. Last year I applied for co-op jobs not by the company name but what I wanted to learn and try out. Also, I’m still single but happily single.
After the past four years (entering my fifth and final year), I realized a couple of things:
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Nothing ever goes to plan
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Know yourself well and find out what fits you best
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Let go of high expectations that you put on yourself and give yourself some compassion
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Accept and embrace changes
I hope that my last year will be as insightful and another self-growth journey as my last four years were. I wish you all the best this school year!
HCXO,
Hawa Latuke