I have always been what my mom called “cautious” – what my friends affectionately (or sometimes less affectionately) called “a fraidy cat.” My sister was daredevil enough for the both of us, and while she cliff dove and leapt into everything head first, I was more comfortable on solid ground and thinking ahead.
Maybe too comfortable.
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Staying in our comfort zones can help protect us from a lot of things – rejection, disappointment, uncertainty, awkward situations, failure. But without those things, how are you supposed to grow as a person?Â
As cliché as that “Tell me about a time you failed” interview question is, there’s a reason everyone still asks it. No one wants to fail, but experiencing that and learning how to go on afterwards changes you as a person. As embarrassing as awkward situations can be, you’ll learn to handle them with grace, with humor, or with both.
Comfort zones aren’t bad. But you can get stuck in them.
In The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Walter spends years in an office, neither happy nor unhappy. In Tina Fey’s newest movie, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, she plays Kim, a broadcast reporter who also feels trapped in her job.
These trajectories would make for pretty uneventful movies. They also make for pretty uneventful lives.
Then Walter and Kim break out. Walter travels the globe, searching for one of the world’s most elusive photographers; Kim takes a wartime assignment and flies to Afghanistan. Both are nervous; both find their lives “blown up.” Both have no regrets.
A lot of us have big dreams, secret 11:11 wishes, goals that feel too huge and risky to admit to others, or maybe even to ourselves, and that can be absolutely terrifying. But what’s also terrifying is the idea that if you don’t chase those dreams, they might never happen.
Don’t let the world intimidate you into not trying.
Into playing it safe.
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Steve Jobs once said, “the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
Believe in yourself and your ability to take on the unknown. Bravery is a muscle, and the more you use it, the stronger it will get. One day, those butterflies, or that swoop in your stomach when you jump off a diving board, will feel like excitement and not like nerves. Pushing past your comfort zone might be uncomfortable, but that’s just growing pains. You are growing and stretching and becoming better. Blooming. Don’t be afraid.
Or rather, be afraid, and do it anyway.
You know that dead silence that always happens when your teacher asks the class a discussion question? Speak up. That really cool internship that you’re worried you’re not qualified for? Apply anyway. Order something new at a restaurant, try a daring new outfit, explore somewhere you’ve never been. Join a club or pick up a new hobby. Tell the truth, even when it’s hard.
Especially when it’s hard.
And so I’ve learned that I want to scrape my knees every once in a while. I want to be bold and chase my daydreams. And if that means getting my heart (and knees) bruised every once in a while, it’s worth it. Because a life well-lived is not one spent swaddled in bubble wrap.
And magic begins at the edge of your comfort zone.Â