I’d say it’s pretty accurate for most people to admit middle school was around the time self doubt began to creep in. As you can guess, I was also in the same boat. I guess I’ve never been able to “conquer” it, (I’m not sure if it’ll ever go away), but I’ve since developed a different mindset that has spoken to me.
In this article, I thought I’d share a few mantras that have helped me limit self-doubt.
yOU’RE aLL yOU’VE gOT, sO MAKE PEACE WITH yOURSELF
Of course you’ll always be part of a community, our lives are undeniably intertwined with each other’s, but the only true constant you will have is yourself. Do you really want to spend your entire life not believing in yourself or enjoying your own company? I believe choosing peace is always the healthiest option. Don’t make your life harder than it already is.
IF OTHER PEOPLE ARE CONFIDENT IN THEMSELVES, WHY SHOULDN’T YOU BE?
Confidence is relative. To be frank, you could be a terrible person and still believe in yourself. However, true confidence isn’t about what you have or what you’ve accomplished; on a deeper level, it’s knowing that it’s enough to be here. Personally, an exercise that really clicked for me was standing in front of the mirror and imagining I was looking at myself from an outsider’s perspective. As simple as it sounds, it made me realize I was just a person like everyone else. I don’t hate strangers, they’re people just like me with their problems, strengths, and weaknesses. I then asked myself why I can’t extend myself the same grace I have for strangers? That allowed me to stop judging myself so harshly.
LOOK AT CHILDHOOD PHOTOS OF YOURSELF
Sometimes I think it’s weird I was once a baby. I don’t remember that period of my life, obviously! Babies can be really annoying, but I do think it’s difficult to really hate them. If you have baby pictures of yourself, look at them and reflect on all the things you know now. You didn’t know what life was gonna throw at you later. You were just a kid doing what you knew or understood to do. As you go through life you learn, become wiser and make better decisions for your personal happiness. Obsessing over past negative experiences isn’t going to get you anywhere. Take away the lesson you were supposed to learn and move on with your life.
SUPPORT YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY AND OTHERS
Hot take: Nothing matters more than your passions and the people that add value to your life. Discovering the things you enjoy doing will give you something to stand up for, which is important to combat self-doubt. Love is a feeling that makes you believe you’re on the right track, so start doing things you love! It doesn’t matter at all whether you’re good at it or not.
Giving back is also an honorable way to live and what people will remember you by the most. Showing up and being there for the people that matter will garner the most love in your life. I think if you surround yourself with a lot of love, you will in return love yourself.
Combating self-doubt is a journey of endless exercises to limit all the negative thoughts you have in your head. It isn’t easy, but if you keep trying your best, one day something may click.