It’s no secret that college is a major adjustment for everyone. Since the moment we threw our high school graduation caps in the air, hugged our pets for the last time as we rolled our suitcases out our front door, and said the infamous “See you at Thanksgiving” to those who stuck by our side through it all, we were struck with that feeling of anticipation of the life that laid ahead of us. Now, that feeling of anticipation has finally settled, because we are here, and this whole college thing is actually happening. While what’s on the horizon for my education at Virginia Tech seems infinite, I feel like in the past three months, which has honestly felt like three decades yet three seconds at the same time, I’ve learned more about myself than I did the previous eighteen years that I lived at home with my parents.
To be quite clear, it has been nothing short of a struggle to get myself to the point I am at now, and while I would still not say I am fully adjusted to this new and confusing way of life, I definitely see myself making progress, which is something I pride myself in. The one thing I cannot stress enough, and that I am constantly reminding myself, is that you are not alone. Everyone around you, from your classmates to your roommate to the new friends you hang out with daily, is going through the same thing. Moving away from home for school, whether fifteen minutes or fifteen hours away, is a huge and terrifying adjustment. Everyone is new to this life, trying to navigate the world by themselves for the first time.
While it was not long ago, I still reminisce about the day I moved into my dorm. That final goodbye to my parents before I saw them on Family Weekend was a moment where I was filled with the most excitement yet most uncertainty I had ever felt in my entire life. My childhood home is seven hours away from Blacksburg, and for the first few weeks I was here, especially when I was at my most anxious points, remembering that left a giant pit in my stomach that took, and is still taking, a lot of self-reflection and work to resolve.
It’s been tough getting used to this new life. There have definitely been moments I’ve had here at school where I have felt lonelier than I ever have in my life. It’s not easy to remind yourself that so many other people are feeling the same way as you are, especially when you get caught in doomscrolling and self-loathing cycles.
I remember one specific weekend where I was feeling particularly anxious and alone. My mom called me, and simply hearing her voice broke me down. I begged her for nearly two hours to let me take the next Amtrak home. I felt like a little girl again, begging to be lifted up by my mom and carried up to the comfort of my bed. As I pleaded and begged her for the comfort of childhood that I longed so dearly, she asked me one question which made me pause and think.
“Do you want to transfer?”
I love this school. For the first time in my life, I am part of a massive community that I chose. I feel like everything else I did up until I started here at Virginia Tech was at the direction of my parents. Despite what I was going through at that very moment, despite all the “I hate it here’s” and the “I want to go home’s”, I genuinely don’t think I could see myself spending the next four years anywhere but here.
So I went and got help. There’s no shame in it. By finding outlets where I could express my frustrations, I’ve not only made myself feel a whole lot better, I’ve learned so much about what I genuinely love about myself. I love that I’m motivated, always willing to work my hardest to accomplish my biggest goals. I love that I’m optimistic, even in my darkest moments, I can always make wit and light out of a bad situation. And I love that I’m a good friend, always willing to have people’s backs, no matter what I get in return from them. It’s so important to look at ourselves and remind ourselves what we love about us. We are all so important and so special, especially because there is not a single person out there who replicates the entirety of ourselves.
As I write this in the once terrifying darkness and solace of my dorm room, I feel nothing but pride in how far I’ve come. I’m still young, and I wouldn’t say I am wise beyond my years in any way shape or form, but I know one thing for sure: It always gets better. There are people out there who share interests with you, make you feel valued, and can be lifelong friends. You can succeed in your classes, there is a reason you got into this school and your desired program, it’s because you are worthy of the rigor and experiences that Virginia Tech has to offer. It’s easy to feel like a small fish in a big pond here, but it’s important to rise above those feelings of worthlessness and use these four years to bring yourself to your greatest potential. You are valuable, no matter what it is that you contribute as a new member of society, and you are so, so, so loved.
If you are in crisis and need an outlet, here are some resources you can reach out to for help:
- Cook Counseling Center – (540) 231-6557
- Timely Care App – 24/7 Virtual Mental Health Services
- Women’s Center at Virginia Tech – (540) 231-7806
- Women’s Resource Center of the NRV 24-hour confidential hotline – (540) 639-1123
- NRVCS 24-hour call line (RAFT) – (540) 961-8400