There is something so satisfying about having a full calendar. Every class, meeting, work shift, and plan feels like hard proof that you’re making the most out of your time. You’re getting involved. You’re building your future. You’re doing what you’re supposed to do.
Then Sunday night comes, and you look at the week ahead, and all you can think about is, “When will I get a chance to breathe?”
I think a lot of college students know and can relate to this feeling. We want to do well in our classes, gain experience, meet people, and really take advantage of the opportunities around us that our schools provide. We also want to exercise, have a social life, get enough sleep, and somehow have time to ourselves.
Each of these things sounds reasonable on its own, but trying to fit them all into one week is where it gets complicated.
At a school as big as Virginia Tech, there is always something else that you could be doing: another organization to join, an event to attend, a position to apply for. Hearing about what other people are involved in can make your own schedule feel insufficient, even when you’re already stretched so thin.
It becomes really easy to add things because you’re afraid of what it means to leave them out. Will you fall behind, miss an opportunity, or regret not being more involved?
Eventually, having a busy schedule can start to feel like more of a requirement for being an interesting, ambitious person. Even the way we talk about our weeks reflects this. “I’ve been so busy” becomes a familiar answer to “How are you?”. Sometimes, I really wonder whether we say it with a little pride, even when we are so exhausted.
The pressure goes beyond doing everything. We’re also supposed to enjoy it.
College is constantly described as the best four years of our lives. We’re told to soak it all in because it goes by so quickly. I understand the intention behind that advice, yet still, it can make an ordinary bad day feel like a missed opportunity. If these are supposed to be the years that we look back on most fondly, what does it mean when we spend a Tuesday wishing the week would end?
There’s a really strange guilt that comes from feeling overwhelmed by a life that you helped choose. You applied for the position, you joined the organization, you made the plans, so admitting that you’re tired can feel ungrateful, as if wanting an opportunity means that you agree to love every single moment of it. That feeling gets stronger when everyone seems to be enjoying their own packed schedules. We see all the event photos, the internship announcements, and the pictures from a night out. We almost never see the rushed dinner before a meeting or an assignment somebody finishes after getting home late at night.
Most of us understand that social media shows a very limited version of someone’s life. That understanding doesn’t always stop us from comparing, though.
It’s hard to look at someone who seems accomplished and happy without wondering why doing more has left you feeling so drained. Even sometimes we contribute to that impression ourselves. We post a picture. We say the experience was super great. We keep the harder parts to ourselves because explaining them feels more uncomfortable, or because we really don’t want to sound like we’re complaining.
Everyone wants to make their life seem like it’s amazing.
I wish there was more room for an honest answer. An internship can be exciting and stressful. A night with your friends can be fun, and you can still wish that you’d gone home earlier. You can love being at school and have days where you want to shut your laptop and talk to nobody. Those feelings don’t erase the good parts.
I’m still figuring out how to recognize the difference between a full schedule that makes me happy and one that simply makes me feel accomplished. Sometimes that means asking why I want to say yes. Am I really interested? Do I even have the time, or am I worried that saying no will make me feel like I’m doing less than everybody else?
I want to leave college with experiences that I care about, friendships that I’ve made, time for, and memories that I actually enjoyed making. That probably requires leaving some things off my calendar, and when someone may ask how my week is going, I want to feel comfortable saying that it has been a lot (even if there’s a picture of me smiling through it).