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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Virginia Tech chapter.

Valentine’s Day is one of the happiest yet most mournful days of the calendar year. It is difficult not to think of the endearment of that day and wish you were sharing it with someone. I have spent many years praying that around February someone can look my way so that I can finally have that magical Valentine’s Day I have been yearning for. As someone who has been single for almost every Valentine’s Day, I have learned to use the day to celebrate myself and for the people I enjoy being in my life.  

I have come a long way in my self-confidence journey. Not too long ago, I used to rely on male-centered validation to feel beautiful or powerful within myself. The validation was so intoxicating, making me desperate for it every second of the day. My friends would say I was the most forward and confident person they knew, but deep down, I hated myself. I hated the way my forehead would scrunch every time I lifted my eyebrows. I hated the small chub that covered my jawline. I hated the way my eyes looked small every time I put black eyeliner on.  

Although these insecurities seem miniature, they would pile up and cause me to crumble. “We are the most hypercritical of ourselves,” I would say, as my friend stood in the mirror pinching at her belly. If I believed my friends were among the most beautiful people on earth, why couldn’t I implement this belief in myself? 

I would bury my insecurities; swipe my lip oil on my medium-sized lips, and put forth a persona. This side of me would be the girl that can hold her alcohol, talk to as many guys as she wanted, and spew an enormous amount of confidence daily. I would try to become the girl that could get anyone they wanted. But was that truly the girl I felt like I was? 

In reality, I was the girl that cried herself to sleep when the night was over. I would imagine the life after college guys, the one where I could actually find someone that wants to marry me and be with me forever. I would tell myself I simply was not skinny enough, was not pretty enough, was not kind enough to attract a quality mate.  

I decided months ago to just stop caring about what these stupid crushes think about me. I do not know how it happened, but it was just like a light switch that turned on miraculously in my brain. Maybe it was the last guy that ghosted me on Halloween that I actually saw a future with. But no matter how or when it took place, the switch had happened, and I started my self-love journey.  

I decided to experiment more with my wardrobe, my appearance, and my emotions. I wanted to truly love myself from within. I started doing the things I loved; my arts and crafts, my books, cleaning my house. These things were often hobbies I pushed aside for men because I was constantly waiting on a text back.  

The more I practiced loving myself, the more it became real. I stopped using my phone, stopped dating apps, texting, everything. I hit the factory reset button on my life. Every time I could tell I was criticizing myself in the mirror, I would stop myself and list things I love about myself. I loved the passion I had towards school, I loved my red hair, and I loved the way I cared deeply about people. 

With this drastic change of personality and behavior, I really started to grow a love for the people that surrounded me. The friendships that always stayed near me, no matter how I behaved. They were the ones that truly loved me for me. My friends could notice this drastic change in me, and they were so happy that I became content with myself.  

So, this Valentine’s Day, I am saying f*** the relationships and the dating and the constant “delivered” symbol in your messages. Find the things you love in this world and hold onto them. The holiday is for celebrating love, which doesn’t necessarily have to be about a significant other. It can be related to your family, your friends, your pets, and most importantly, yourself. Instead of gifting a “maybe” significant other, I will be giving my friends gifts to show them how much I love and appreciate them. If you change your perspective on Valentine’s Day, you can actually make it a very enjoyable holiday.  

women hugging and smiling
Photo by Elly Fairytale from Pexels
Emily Chipman

Virginia Tech '26

I am a Cognitive and Behavioral Neuroscience major with a minor in Psychology, pursuing a pre-law track. Originally from San Diego, California, I attended high school in Blacksburg, Virginia. I am actively involved in a Panhellenic sorority and the IHSR research program. Through IHSR, I secured a position as an undergraduate research assistant in Dr. Bickel's Addictive Behaviors Lab at the Fralin Biomedical Research Institute in Roanoke. In addition to my strong passion for STEM, I have a deep interest in law, ethics, and social justice. I am particularly intrigued by the intersection of neuroscience and the legal system, and I am committed to exploring how cognitive science can inform legal policies and practices. In my free time, I enjoy reading and writing. I joined Her Campus to enhance my writing skills and to connect with others who share an enthusiasm for journalism. My goal is to leverage my diverse interests to make a meaningful impact in both the scientific and legal communities.