I have a habit of always wanting and feeling like I need to fix things. I’m a “fixer” when it comes to any problem, and I often spend hours trying to find a solution no matter the extent of the situation. However, this sometimes is hard to do when someone is having a mental health crisis or even just a rough day, because often there is nothing that can be fixed when it comes to someone’s emotions. This reality of not being able to automatically fix what someone is going through or how they felt, used to be really hard for me to accept. I offered wondered how people comforted someone without saying any words, because to me that just seemed so counterproductive. I mean yes now I realize that I can help someone without fixing their situation or giving them all the answers, although that took quite a while for me to come to terms with. It also took me just as long to understand that providing comfort doesn’t always mean providing the “perfect” or “right” words. I began to learn that I can actually do a lot of things to comfort and help people, even if I don’t know what to say in order to do that. With all of that said, now I am here telling you all those things I’ve found that work when someone needs some comforting or “TLC,” if you will.
The first thing that I have on my list is drawing something for the person and giving it to them. I really enjoy drawing fancy letters, some would call it calligraphy but I don’t quite think my cursive swirly words qualify as that, sadly. With that said, my go-to is looking up quotes on Pinterest that I feel apply to that specific person in their situation and then drawing it out. I mean who doesn’t love an inspirational quote written in fancy lettering with accompanying bright colors? Now, you may be thinking at this point, “what if I don’t have an artistic bone in my body?”… well, I’ve got you covered. Especially if you like the idea of sharing a positive quote, then you could just simply text or email the person you’re thinking of the quote you feel speaks to them.
This may sound like a frankly cheesy way to go about comforting someone, but in my experience people really appreciate anything you do to let them know that you’re thinking about them- especially if you mention why you chose that specific quote. Lastly, self care! It’s crucial to mention to the person that you love, or anyone, to take care of themselves – whether that be just by taking a bath or getting an extra hour of sleep. If you really want to go the extra mile, surprise that person with a self- care goodie, like a face mask or a box of tea.
All in all, by no means am I the master of making someone feel instantly better, but I do enjoy doing all I can to help someone out.
Happy caretaking, loves! Also, don’t forget to comfort yourself with these tactics, because that is just as beneficial.