As a woman who loves inspirational quotes, or just quotes that give you a new perspective on life, I have always paid close attention to song lyrics and monologues from plays/movies, to find hidden gems. Most of the time I write them down in a notebook or put them on my wall to refer to when I go through different situations. Well, I had to find out the hard way that every seemingly good quote is not meant to be used as a reference when you’re going through real life situations.
The summer before my junior year of college, I was flipping through TV channels and landed on a movie I’ve always wanted to see, The Duff. If you don’t know what DUFF is, it’s an acronym for Designated Ugly Fat Friend. The movie had just come on, and I was ecstatic. This movie had the cliché “unattractive geek” girl befriending the “hot jock” guy, and by the end of the film, they fall in love. I love those movies. Like always, I found a quote to take away from the movie: “Everybody is somebody’s Duff.” At first, I thought this saying was excellent, and then I realized it was starting to take a toll on my self-esteem. Here’s how I go to that conclusion.
Any woman, or person in general, knows it’s hard living in today’s society. Everyone always has an opinion on another person’s hair, clothes, body type and so on. Personally, overcoming being bullied because of my size and finally accepting who I am, this quote became less inspirational after a while.
Going out with my girlfriends, whether it’s to a party or out to eat, we always dress presentable for the occasion. All my friends are smaller than me, but that never stops me from taking endless selfies and checking myself out in every window we pass. For a while, when it came to compliments and attention from others, I felt left out. Yes, I know what others think or feel about you doesn’t matter, but I’m a human being. We all secretly crave just the slightest attention and affirmation from others, especially from the sex we are attracted to.
In the beginning, whenever I got overlooked, I would mentally refer to the Duff quote, and truthfully it was working for me at the time. I thought yeah, I might be the Duff in this group of friends, but in another group of friends, I might not be the Duff. Considering myself to be The Duff wasn’t a very healthy way of thinking. I started to notice that every circumstance where I was overlooked, which now I realized didn’t happen as often as I thought, I used quote thinking maybe it just wasn’t my turn.
The Duff quote started to affect the self-esteem that I’d worked so hard to rebuild. I started seeing myself as the Designated Ugly Fat Friend regularly, and it was tearing me up inside. That is when I knew I had to get rid of this quote from a movie I loved so dearly.
When freeing myself from the Duff quote, I reevaluated myself and came up with my saying “Nobody is anybody’s Duff.” You should never compare yourself to others, whether you think you’re better or inadequate next to them. Most of the time it’s all in your head anyway. No matter how much I love the movie, a person should never identify themselves as a Duff.