Dear Exercise,
Hey old friend, recently I realized how long of a history we have, you and I. For most of my life I’ve thought about you in some form or another every single day. Through every sports team, every trip to the gym, every race or run I completed-you were there. For a long period of my life, you were how I coped with everything. When I was sad I’d run. When I was happy I’d run. When I was frustrated, confused, or scared I’d run. Eventually every time I was desperate for control I’d work out. You gave me consistency and were reliable whenever I needed you. Over time you became my favorite distraction from whatever it was I didn’t want to confront.
Somewhere along the way I couldn’t go a day without you. When my life was out of control you were the one thing I tried to make orderly. Slowly but surely my identity and value were so connected to you, I couldn’t think of a way to live without you. When the control I had over you started to slip and fade I didn’t know how to cope. I went from working out six days a week to none and back and forth, until I finally fell somewhere in between.
It was only when I spent some time without you, that I learned to appreciate all the other aspects of my life. Maybe I was no longer in the gym every weekday but I still had friends and family who loved me, I was still a great student, and I was still a kind person. I couldn’t allow myself to keep you in my life if I was letting you become my whole life. While I still usually work out or run a few times a week, during the weeks that I don’t fit you in I feel fine too. I hope to maintain a healthy, positive relationship with you all my life, however, I’m no longer afraid to take a break from you. Thank you so much for everything and I still appreciate you, but I no longer need you (and I think it’s going to stay that way).
Love always,
Erin Jones