I won’t sugarcoat it here: the coronavirus has been a pure catastrophe, especially in the United States. But you knew that. Unemployment is extremely high, the economy is suffering, and over 200,000 Americans lay dead. It’s an ongoing disaster from any angle. But oddly, in the toughest time this country has seen in years, I’m thriving.
Well not thriving, exactly. Coronavirus restrictions as well as navigating my first year at college (with a pandemic, no less!) have made things a bit difficult. But I can honestly say I haven’t felt this consistently healthy and content in years.
To be fair, I haven’t undergone the very real struggles people have had to face as a result of the coronavirus. I’ve been extremely lucky: my parents have kept their jobs and I haven’t lost anyone close to me to COVID-19. My luck in these respects has allowed these lockdown months to be some of the best months in recent years.
I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression for years. I’ve always put so much pressure on myself to succeed, and in high school, this pressure debilitated me. I didn’t sleep (or slept too much), I panicked all the time, I got sick often, and I simply just didn’t take care of myself in the ways I should have. And I suffered as a result.
But it was high school. I didn’t have to take care of myself because I relied on my parents to do so for me. Looking back, I know I unfairly burdened them, but at the time I didn’t really care. I was too stressed myself to worry about how I may be affecting others.
College however, would be a whole different story. I would be on my own, without my parents and friends. I would have to learn how to take care of myself, but I didn’t know how to start. It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried before: sometimes, I would convince myself I needed to change my habits, but after a week or so, or even less, I would revert back to my old habits. Honestly, by the second semester of senior year of high school, I was downright scared to go because I didn’t feel equipped to handle college without getting a grasp on my anxiety.
Then, in March, COVID hit the US hard. In mid-March, schools closed and we never went back. In late March, Virginia shut down. And this lockdown gave me what a sorely needed: a break.
Look, I’ll be honest. I didn’t use the break in a, shall we say, “enviable,” prudent way. I didn’t exercise every day, learn a new language, finish a home project, and launch a new business. No, no, I slept for 11 hours and took 3 naps a day, watched a million episodes of The Office, and baked way too much. But I won’t fault myself for it. I needed that break, and as spring months rolled into summer months, I started getting back into a more normal routine. I woke up earlier and went to bed earlier (i.e. not at 5am), exercised more often, got back into playing piano, and generally added more structure to my day. In those months, I learned how to start taking care of my mental health better, and it helped to have no pressure or time constraints on bettering myself. Went to bed at 5 am accidentally? No problem, you literally have weeks to fix your sleep schedule if you want. Bad day? Stay at home all you want until you feel better. You have literally absolutely nothing to do. This flexibility actually helped keep me on track, and by the time college started, I had built up months of rest and an arsenal of tools to help me navigate the new circumstances.
I was worried college would force me back to my old ways, but it hasn’t. I sleep and exercise regularly now, I haven’t had a panic attack in months, and I’ve joined some clubs I really enjoy. Granted, everything isn’t back to normal. My classes are all online and many things, like clubs and events, haven’t begun in earnest, or if they have, in a reduced capacity. I know things will just become harder from here. But I’m hopeful, and that’s saying something from a proclaimed pessimist. When things get bad, I can always point to this time as an example of “Things do get better.” Because apparently they really do.
I recognize that not everyone with mental health issues will have the same experience as me. For some, the coronavirus has exacerbated these issues and for others, the pandemic may have even incited them. Luckily, the pandemic won’t last forever, and even I would like things to go back to normal as soon as possible. But I’ll always remember the fact that even in the most unconventional or difficult times, it is possible to find what you need and make lemonade from lemons.
Tips to make the most of quarantine:
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Make an exercise schedule and stick to it! Exercising doesn’t have to be at a gym.
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Find a new hobby, or reconnect with an old one.
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Spend more time outdoors.
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Enjoy the time off from commitment. Life will be back to a hectic schedule soon enough.