Surely, you have heard of this word before, and if not I am here to serve as your reality check.
Narcissists or “toxic people” are defined as people who are incredibly self-involved and are most of the time, selfish and conceited. At first, they seem charismatic and probably confident in some areas. It doesn’t take long before the person behind the mask comes out and they honestly make you feel like $HITTTTTTT.
The following are 10 signs to spot a narcissist:
- They probably don’t know they are a narcissist.
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They don’t always realize that they are self-centered individuals which make cutting them out even harder. They will ask what they are doing wrong, but your criticism is unlikely to be well-received no matter how much they tell you they value your honesty.
- They are emotionally manipulative.
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Your walls are broken down so they can build you back up how they want. If you stand for it, they have the power to make you feel stupid and worthless for holding their generosity over your head with acts of kindness which in the end, are used against you.
- Everyone rolls their eyes when they hear their name.
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This should be a sign in itself that you need to let them go. Some signs are hard to see without looking.
- They are either the hero or the victim.
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Literally, whatever story your narcissist tells you, they are either the victim or hero and by the end of their stories, you are meant to feel sorry for them or think they walk on water.
DO NOT fall for this because this is all part of the manipulative template they follow.
- They have an excuse for EVERYTHING.
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It doesn’t matter how many times they have done you wrong, they will have excuses for everything. It can be as simple as “Well that’s just the way I am”. Drop them if they feed you lines and refuse to change. Sometimes they know if their faults are toxic, but that won’t make a difference.
- They only respect people who agree with them.
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If someone doesn’t agree with them, they will think they are just ignorant or a straight-up moron. It doesn’t matter if they are right or wrong. They’ll like or love you until you think differently because they are intolerant of different opinions other than theirs.
- They have no consideration for how they come across.
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Narcissists can be REALLY insensitive. More insensitive than normal people. They never fail to say things that leave your jaw dropped. It doesn’t matter if they are one-upping tragedies or just putting people down, they are not afraid to be rude and state what comes to mind because they are lacking empathy.
- They badmouth and hate people for NO REASON.
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Suddenly, they have people that mean absolutely nothing to them. It can be simply not agreeing with them, or just being selfish. Especially when it comes to people you have in common, it can be really disappointing and upsetting to you personally.
- They make promises they can’t keep.
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After telling you that they will do anything to be with you, they will have a pattern of failing to keep promises or plans no matter how big or small and that is when excuses become their source of ammunition. They might “do anything for you” but when push comes to shove, you might not be their first priority.
- They take everything out on you.
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You will most definitely know when they become overwhelmed with any type of emotion (i.e. anger and/or sadness). Then the yelling, verbal abuse, threats are coming out as a way to make you feel worse and put the blame on yourself.
I hope this advice finds you well. Do not allow someone to make you into a target of abuse. Know when to leave the situation and don’t be afraid to ask others for help because you have to believe you have more power and control than they do. If not, the relationship might be harder to leave each time signs are let go. It might seem impossible and painful at the moment, but you will be extremely better off.
No one deserves to feel worthless or unloved.
HCXO