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What if self-care isn’t all about you?

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at USFSP chapter.

Now that you’re finally reading this, I thought you should know a few things…

I never realized just how much power you actually have over me. And I don’t mean this in a “you put a spell on me” kind of way, but I do mean that for the majority of my life you have had a hold on me that I just couldn’t break. And to top it all off, I didn’t even realize this until just recently. 

You unwittingly convey to everyone else your wants and desires continuously and in turn let me know where I stand, who I should be and what I should do in order to appease your whim and preference. The whole thing was just daunting and yet, I obliged. How do you do it? How did I even get here? I’m so glad that you are reading this because I need you to hear me. THAT is a lot of power. 

Too many times when we think about self care, we neglect the part that ‘others’ play in our routines. The ‘others’; our peers, the people we envy on social media, our families and even our closest friends…. the ‘others.’ Recently I learned that it is truly important to pause and take a moment to realize just how much our unique relationships with the ‘others’ affect how we think, what we do and how we do it. The phrase, “I’ve got a mind of my own,” is all too familiar and we tend to think this way often but, really…Do you have a mind of your own? 

A lot of what we do, in one way or another, is either to accommodate the wishes of someone else, to be more like someone else or to obtain validation from someone else by doing what we know they already expect of us. And while this isn’t always a bad thing, how often is it a good thing? And what kind of a toll does this take on us and our own well being and development? These are legitimate questions to ask when considering self care. Having the ability to take a moment and process why you do what you do (especially if you are stressed and or unhappy) can be pivotal in your journey to self assurance and acceptance and overall peace as you move forward. Doing this as often as you need to can help put a lot of things into perspective and provide a refreshing new lens through which to see and pursue your future as you would have it (as opposed to how ‘others’ would have it). 

Navigating the mess that IS adulting sometimes can be really tough and extremely overwhelming! And we all know that rest days are more than mandatory just to stay sane and not totally explode. I just wanted to remind you that perspective is key when trying to reset and regroup to move on. We tend to give a lot of our power and autonomy over to people we respect by simply trying to be what they expect or genuinely trying to meet their needs and it is just impossible. Your voice is beautiful and should be heard first before you exhaust yourself daily trying to fit into an invisible mold that the ‘others’ might not have even realized they created. 

It is up to you to practice self care, but when you do just remember, it’s more than physical and it might be about more than just you.


A Mass Communications Major with a passion for inspiring others.