For as common as polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) is, you’d think it would be far more researched. Some say the lack of research is due to how varying the symptoms are. Others — myself included — speculate that it would be taken more seriously if it affected men. The craziest part? Most women who have it remain undiagnosed. But even with a diagnosis, women’s experiences remain largely unchanged, besides knowing what to blame for their irregular periods, stubborn facial hair, and sudden weight gain.
I’ve struggled with irregular cycles since my teenage years, but I just assumed it would sort itself out the older I got. It wasn’t until my first year of college when I started to wonder, Hmm, maybe there is something wrong with me.
I suddenly gained a lot of weight in just a couple of months. Granted, my eating habits were never the best. I have a major sweet tooth and enjoy eating out with my friends all the time, just like any other girl. As time went on, I would get very moody for no reason. I also began feeling so tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I got the night before. My close friends and family know how excited I used to get to go shopping for hours when I was a teenager — but that changed. Now, I would lose all my energy within the first hour and want to go back to my car to sit for another one. Then, I’d go home and take a nap for another few hours.
I consider myself a pretty social person and love going out on adventures with my friends. It was never a thing for me to refer to myself as introverted. But then I started hoping I’d get that “Hey, I’m sorry but I can’t make it today” text, just because I didn’t have the energy to do anything at all. I quite literally felt like something in my body was sucking the life out of me, like my shine was slowly dwindling.
During my second year of college, I connected all the dots. Do I really just have a “sweet tooth,” or is there an underlying cause to these insane cravings I’m having? And why did I gain all this weight so suddenly?
I finally had the courage to see a doctor when I was 21 and got diagnosed with PCOS. It’s a hormonal issue at its core, so a lot of what I’d been feeling made sense. At first I was relieved. I thought, Now I can learn how to treat my symptoms. In reality, the main piece of advice I got from the doctor was to not gain more weight. “There is no cure, but the best way to help yourself is by losing weight,” he said. Any girl with PCOS will tell you that this is the most frustrating thing to hear.
One of the trickiest symptoms is abrupt weight gain, and it’s very difficult to lose it no matter what you do. Because of the lack of research, it’s unclear what type of diet you should follow. There’s no PCOS-specific medication, so you could be prescribed anything from birth control to metformin. On top of that, some exercises have been shown to make you even more bloated than you were before you did them. I often find myself thinking, What the f*ck am I supposed to do?
As a college student, it’s so easy to neglect both your mental and physical health with all the other things you have going on. Between assignment and project deadlines, exams, clubs, work, and maintaining a social life, you’re lucky if you even get enough sleep. I admit, I feel really stressed sometimes. And guess what? Stress is a big trigger for PCOS.
Still, it’s important for me to be self-aware. It’s true that most of the time, I don’t have the energy to make proper meals for myself. I have no energy to work out. I forget (or just don’t want) to take my supplements. But I understand that if I want things to change, I can’t keep making excuses. I hate calling them “excuses” because it kind of invalidates how I feel physically, but I’m more so referring to my mentality. I’m stuck with this thing forever, so I might as well find a way to prioritize my health and try different things to relieve my symptoms, no matter how busy I am with other things.
There are so many unanswered questions when it comes to this godforsaken condition, but one thing that has given me so much comfort throughout this journey was speaking to other women who also have it. As clichĂ© and annoying as it sounds, you’re truly never alone, especially when it comes to PCOS. Like I said earlier, it’s way more common than you think. Also, having friends and family that are understanding when my mood and energy levels are low showed me that I don’t need to feel guilty about it.Â
Another great thing about speaking to others is learning how they treat their symptoms. Since there isn’t a lot of medical data that shows what to do, I almost had no other option than trying out what has worked for others. Every girl’s experience with PCOS is different, but it’s ultimately all about balancing our hormones and stress levels, whether that’s through food and drink choices, exercise, or even journaling.Â
While I’m still actively trying to figure things out, I’ve finally accepted that I have to put a little more effort into taking care of myself if I want to get better. It’s been one of the hardest things for me to come to terms with, but I’m grateful that I could change my outlook on this and only have hope, patience, and dedication moving forward. And to end this with a bar — no need to stress and trigger that PCOS.Â