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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Confidence After a Breakup: Steps to Rediscover Your Worth

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UPRM chapter.

Breakups are complex and emotionally challenging experiences that can leave a deep impact on our well-being. When a romantic relationship ends, it often brings out a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and confusion. Recovery after such experience can be genuinely challenging and time-consuming. It entails the necessity of rebuilding oneself to facilitate healing. This journey involves adopting a fresh routine and a novel perspective on life. While it’s natural to feel a sense of nostalgia for the person you used to be, growth involves moving beyond that phase.  

Understanding the Impact on Self-Esteem:

When someone walks away without a hint of regret, it’s natural to start doubting ourselves and wondering if we were the problem or if we did something to drive them away. But here’s the thing: people make choices. When someone walks away from a relationship without a second thought, let me tell you, it’s an indication that you wouldn’t have found happiness there. The truth is, you can’t have a harmonious connection with someone beautiful if there’s a lack of communication. It’s crucial to grasp that we shouldn’t allow ourselves to believe we’re inadequate. I remember feeling awful about my appearance, my personality – I just despised myself. I kept asking why I had to be that way. But what way? It’s important to realize that if someone leaves, it’s because they weren’t the right fit for you, not because you were lacking. 

Practicing Self-Compassion:

I know it’s easy to internalize all the blame, but let me remind you of something crucial: a relationship involves TWO people working together. So instead of constantly questioning why they left, make a choice to show kindness to yourself. What really turned things around for me was saving self-motivation TikToks; when I felt a wave of sadness approaching, I’d return to them for a boost. Stand in front of the mirror and say, “I am worthy, and what’s meant for me will find its way.” Treat yourself just as you’d treat a friend going through a breakup. You wouldn’t tell her, “It’s all your fault, you messed up.” No, you’d probably say, “Girl, that’s his loss; you were too good for him anyway.” Speak those same words to yourself— be your own friend, your own support.

Rediscover your passions

In my previous article, I shared a list of actions to take after a breakup. Now, let’s navigate into those recommendations again. 

Begin by setting personal goals that align with your new journey. Embrace the opportunity to rediscover your self-identity; this is a chance for a fresh start, a new chapter. Reconnect with activities that once brought you joy, or explore new interests that pique your curiosity. This is your time to shine! Imagine yourself as the popstar of your own story. Start that podcast you’ve been contemplating on listening to, share your favorite recipes on TikTok, build a captivating book collection, or join a community that resonates with you. Embrace this moment to focus on your growth and passions—it’s your time to flourish.

Embracing Growth

As you enter a new chapter, seize the opportunity for self-improvement. Reflect on your past, learn from mistakes, and assess what did or didn’t work in your previous relationship. Establish clear boundaries, particularly if your breakup highlights their importance, and safeguard your emotional well-being. Embrace your independence by engaging in activities that bring you joy alone, whether that’s exploring new places, trying hobbies, or venturing on solo adventures. Channel your energy into advancing professionally and pursuing career-related passions. By actively embracing growth, you can turn post-breakup challenges into catalysts for personal development, leading not only to recovery but also to thriving in unexpected pathways.

I understand that each person’s journey is special, and no two situations are alike. However, my aim in sharing the words I wish I had heard during my own tough times is to offer comfort and guidance to others in similar situations. Life is a singular experience, and the process of healing is incredibly significant. It’s essential to not let anyone dampen our inner spirit. Through sharing the insights that personally resonated with me, my hope is to support others in their quest to recover and find strength more swiftly. Healing is a priceless act of self-care, ensuring that our inner light continues to shine brightly.

Stephanie Mojica holds the position of CC/President at Her Campus at UPRM, where she provides leadership and guidance to the chapter. Currently, in pursuit of dual bachelor's degrees in Civil and Mechanical Engineering, Stephanie's academic path is centered around her passion for sustainability and eco-conscious practices. Beyond her role with Her Campus, Stephanie is an enthusiastic fan of Taylor Swift, and she takes pleasure in savoring pizza and engaging in workout sessions. With her adept organizational skills, she excels in planning and managing her academic endeavors and personal activities. Stephanie's commitment to sustainability extends beyond her studies, as she actively seeks to incorporate eco-friendly solutions into her engineering aspirations. Her dedication to both leadership and creating a positive impact reflects in her well-rounded pursuits and proactive approach to life.