Valentine’s Day, the holiday in which we celebrate and share our love, has officially passed. Sharing our love is an immense act of kindness but the love we share must first be found in ourselves. It is not an easy task, but thankfully there are many ways we can achieve that whether it be big or small. A useful way to find the correct way to practice self-love is to determine our love language.
Love languages, a concept introduced by author Gary Chapman, are the ways in which people express or want to receive love. They are the following:
- Physical Touch → physically interacting with them to show love. (e.g. holding hands)
- Acts of Service → doing nice things to show you care for them. (e.g. chores and tasks)
- Quality Time → spending time together in a meaningful way and being present in the moment. (e.g. road trips)
- Words of Affirmation →constantly expressing love and appreciation through words (e.g. good morning and night messages)
- Gift Giving → gifting from the heart no matter how big or small; symbolizing how well you know them. (e.g. getting them their favorite candy)
Although they were originally introduced to be used in romantic relationships, love languages have started to be used in any kind of relationship, like in friendships, as it was popularized. They are easily used for self love in the following ways:
- Physical touch:
- Do face masks
- Heating pads
- Hot showers
- Massage your shoulders, neck or feet
- Play with your hair
- Wrap yourself in a soft blanket
- Follow a yoga routine
- Acts of service:
- Cook a comfort meal
- Create a vision board
- Declutter your space
- Make appointments
- Organize your space
- Plan your day
- Set short and long-term goals
- Keep track of good habits
- Quality Time:
- Be in nature
- Go on a walk
- Journal
- Meditate
- Read a book
- Try new hobbies
- Words of affirmation:
- Compliment yourself
- Journal your favorite things about yourself
- Manifest at the beginning and end of your day
- Show gratitude for all you have
- Speak kindly to yourself
- Talk to your younger self (via picture)
- Gift Giving:
- Buy flowers for yourself
- Buy something on your wishlist
- Invest in yourself
- Order takeout
- Plan a trip
- Start a DIY project
These are just a few of many ways we can use our love languages to care for ourselves. It is important to try each of them out even though they may not be your main language; explore more of yourself and your needs! Self-checks are essential for our healthy development so it is very important not to neglect these.
And always remember, the love you seek is already within yourself.