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Mental Health

You Are Exactly Where You Need To Be

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Social media, comparison, pressure, and simply just being too attentive to your surroundings make you feel like you are behind in life when you see so many people achieving many incredible and unbelievable things.

Trust me, I’ve been there. Plenty of times.

Whenever a new year comes around we make a list of twenty things we want to achieve. When we get into college we want to take as many classes as possible to finish that degree on time. When we see our friends getting jobs, getting married, achieving goals, you feel like… well what have I been doing all this time? I’m so behind!

I’ve always said this to myself whenever I’ve caught my thoughts comparing where I am to where someone else is: Everyone is their own book. Some are on chapter twenty-eight, I’m on chapter six, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone is living their own chapter of their lives, so why are we comparing our stories?

Comparing becomes the thief of joy. Cliché, I know, but it’s true! Sometimes I’m enjoying myself while writing something or creating a craft, and the moment I look to my side to see what someone else is doing, my smile is erased and my mind runs with thoughts like: “Mine doesn’t look as good, her writing is so beautiful and mind-blowing, maybe I should try something else and not this.” See what I mean? That other person probably has ten years of experience, and the first time they tried that craft or wrote a paragraph it was complete garbage. The difference is: they kept going.

When we are focused on someone else’s work, we derail from our own, and even quit in the middle of the journey.

You need to let go, you need to release. Release the pressure of getting everything done this month, this quarter, this year. Release the need to have your whole life figured out in college. Release the pressure of getting ahead.

Let me say that one again: Release the pressure of getting ahead. 

You don’t need to be ahead of anything. You don’t need to rush through life. You don’t need to be in the next chapter, you need to be on this one. You are exactly where you need to be.

I’m going to make some calculations for you. Don’t worry it isn’t hard, I’m not a big fan of math either.

Monday through Friday, there is a total of 120 hours (24 hours by 5 days). Subtract 8 hours of sleep per day and that is 80 whole hours of being awake. In a week (having Saturdays and Sundays free) you have 80 hours to work on you, your goals, your future, your habits, your hobbies, your craft. 

Whenever I feel like life is so overwhelming (which is very often let me admit) I remind myself that I still got time, because after all, I have 80 hours in a week and that’s plenty of time. I even write “80 hours” on a sticky note as a reminder that I still got time. Everyone is in their own journey, what you decide to do in those 80 hours is up to you, you don’t need to rush it.

If you compare yourself to someone on social media, remember that it is a highlight reel, not the complete 24 hours of their day. If you wish you had that person’s expertise, ask them how they started and what you can do to improve. Rushing the learning process and judging yourself for each little mistake you make, takes you away from enjoying your life. 

Remind yourself to trust the process and most importantly, trust yourself, even if you don’t quite understand where you are right now. There’s no need to feel behind or overwhelmed because: you’re exactly where you need to be.

lots of love,

-Lya 🤎

Hi! I'm Lilliana, although lots of my friends call me Lya. I love to read, usually love stories or self-help books to help me understand myself better. I love everything that has to do with self-growth, mental health and simply becoming the best version of myself every day. I feel more myself when I can help others through my writing, which is exactly what I want to do with Her Campus.
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