Like many in this 2025 graduating class, I started my university journey by taking classes through a computer screen. Like many others, I’m sure, it was a struggle for me to make friends through this new digital world of learning during the pandemic.
I grew up watching movies like Legally Blonde, Sydney White, The House Bunny, and So Undercover, among others. So of course, although they were chick flicks highlighting a hyperbolic white sorority college girl experience, the camaraderie and the idea of “finding independence” sounded amazing.
In high school, I was so ready to finally go to university. However, the pandemic certainly didn’t help me reach this ideal scenario so easily. What began as a seemingly innocent two-week break from school stretched into my second year of college. It seemed like the time window for finding new friends was smaller now that I was in my second year. There are many things I wish I’d done differently, but despite the obstacles and hard times, now that I’m in my fifth year, I can say that I don’t regret anything.
As an ode to what could have been, these are the things I wish someone had told my 18-year-old woe-eyed self:
Grades aren’t everything
I came to university as a 4.0 GPA student, but that quickly changed after I got my first ever B. When I worked my butt off every day in high school to get high grades, I always knew I would be rewarded. However, the University of Puerto Rico then kicked my butt the following year and I learned the hard way that just because you work hard, it doesn’t mean you’ll get the result you’ve been wishing for. Even so, that doesn’t take away merit from your hard work. So, go on that trip with your family or hang out with your friends, you can do your work later.
Nahiomy, I wish someone had told you that you should have more fun and take lower grades a little less seriously. The B or the C on that one exam in your second year is normal.
Find common ground and make (more) new friends
Sweaty hands. Heart palpitations. It’s normal to feel nervous around new people, especially after going back into the real world after almost two years of taking online classes. I’m positive everyone felt the same way and was equally as nervous. Take your time, but also don’t let the opportunity of making new connections pass you by. Start by finding common interests or joining a club.
College love isn’t what it’s made out to be
Have there been many failed dates and situationships? Yes. Will it get better? Probably not. Don’t let books and movies fool you, college love truly isn’t what it’s made out to be. Just keep in mind that The Deal by Elle Kennedy is not real.
Nahiomy, do things organically and let them unravel at their own pace. Don’t search for them frantically.
Mental and emotional breaks are valid (and needed)
Take a breather as many times as you may need to. Even if you think you take too many breaks, they are necessary during the learning process. Classes are hard, and life gets harder. Don’t take on more than you can handle.
Make all the mistakes and feel all the emotions.
As a perfectionist, older daughter, I can tell you that whenever you fail, I know it’s hard for you to get back up or retry. I know you feel, and still do most of the time, that if you make a mistake, it’s irreversible. It’s okay to make those mistakes. I implore you to fall as many times as you need to.
Learn to let friends go.
Yes, I know I told you to make more friends, and my advice may seem counterintuitive. Regardless of that, I wish people had told you to realize when it’s time to let someone go and when you don’t fit into a friend group. It would hurt if there were emotional ties, but in the long run, it teaches you not only to value yourself but to actually value other friendships more.
Nahiomy, it takes time, effort, and hurtful trial and error, but you will learn that not everyone is here to be your friend and that’s valid. It can be quite liberating when you let go of something that shouldn’t be heavy. So, make sure to hang out with different people and not stick to one friend group (that can sometimes come back to bite you in the ass).
Open a savings account and a credit card
In my five years of university, I didn’t go crazy with the partying, but I did go crazy with the spending. Please, please, please, open a High Yield Savings Account and place around 70%-80% of your income and scholarships in there. Your future self will be extremely grateful. Also, try not to get a credit card too far into your Bachelor’s degree; you can miss out on a lot of benefits.
Don’t be afraid to develop your passion.
At one point, you were scared of traveling alone or writing for a broad audience. Whenever an opportunity presented itself, I would be too scared and would place too many excuses as to why I shouldn’t do it. So, pick up that paint brush you’ve been wanting to use for so long or start editing those clips of your gaming.
Nahiomy, I wish someone had told you that if something is made for you, it will remain that way. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to take advantage of a new opportunity.
Hopefully you learn and take all these lessons with you up until the day you graduate.