I was formally diagnosed with general anxiety around the time I was in tenth grade. Anxiety was a part of me before that, and it continues to be a struggle in my day-to-day activities. Sometimes anxiety feels like a burden, especially when you are around people who don’t understand your triggers or don’t take into consideration your limits. It is especially hard when your friends want to go out to a jangueo, but you know that going out might trigger an anxiety attack. Surely, that’s not the way you’d like your night to go.
Here are a few tips—learned through trial and error—that have helped me step out of my comfort zone.
- Be with People who Understand your Situation.
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Whether it’s your first time going out or not, it is important that you surround yourself with a group of friends or loved ones that can help you cope with your symptoms. If you feel safe around them and they look after you, it will be much easier to relax and have fun. It is also important to talk to them before going out and walk them through what to do if an anxiety attack does occur (hopefully that won’t be the case). I’ve learned that when you are around friends who make you feel comfortable and care about your well being it makes these stressful situations more easygoing.
- Make A List of Potential Triggers
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You don’t necessarily need to write the triggers down but sometimes listing them in your head or talking them through with a friend beforehand might help. When you pinpoint what causes you to feel anxious, whether it be small spaces, crowded spaces or a lot of people drinking, it becomes easier to plan your night out. This has helped me to identify what causes my anxiety to act up. Once you know the potential triggers, it is easier to prepare a plan to avoid these situations and feels more comfortable.
- Plan Ahead
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Once you’ve identified what triggers you and what your limits are, you can start planning ahead. Start by identifying places you are familiar with or feel more comfortable going to. I recommend to only visit one new place at a time so you can take your time to adjust to the place and get used to its environment. Sometimes the change of setting and visiting a lot of new places can be overwhelming and tiring.
- Have An Anxiety Attack Contingency Plan
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As I mentioned before, it is important to go out with people who make you feel safe and are understanding of your situation. It’s good to single out one person who will be there to assist you in case you have an anxiety attack.
Anxiety attacks can manifest themselves in different ways and present different symptoms. It can be hyperventilating, the impulse of getting out of a place, feeling claustrophobic, being completely numb, dissociating, among other terrifying experiences. At the time, one might not be able to take action to get out of a place to calm down; this is why it’s important to have a person to recognize your symptoms and take you away to a calmer place to focus on yourself and let it pass. This designated person can also help you channel your anxiety by distracting your thoughts and talking to you through el jangueo. In my case, my partner helps me a lot through these situations because they begin to ask me questions about my expectations about the night and of the places that we might go to. We also talk about worst-case scenario situations and make a possible plan if we encounter them. Also, they talk about the things we observe in the places we go to and make up stories of the people we see to distract me from my anxiety.
- Try to Enjoy the Experience & Have Fun
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Whether it’s a new experience or a recurring one, the fact that you are stepping out of your comfort zone and putting yourself out there is admirable. While you’re there, try to turn your phone off and enjoy the dancing, the drinks, the different places you visit, and, most importantly, the company of those around you. Try to enjoy and savor your experience to the best of your abilities.
- Know When You’ve Had Enough
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If you feel too tired or uncomfortable, know that you can always just go home and get comfortable, maybe watch a movie.
It’s okay to say no.
Not wanting to go out, or stay out all night is alright. It doesn’t make you lame, or boring, or anything like that, it makes you a person who knows how to manage their-self. It’s okay if you can’t stay the whole night out jangueando. This is not for everyone. If you find it’s not for you, that’s okay. You can spend time with your friends in some other way. Know when you are tired and want to leave so you don’t push your limits. Always keep your best interest in mind! Your mental health is very important!
Always remember to find places and people you are comfortable with; they will greatly influence how much you enjoy your night. One of the best things you can do during this situation is to reflect on your emotions and mental state and constantly keep yourself in check. In the worst-case scenario, you have an anxiety attack. Don’t be so hard on yourself, take time to rest and recover from it. No matter how long it takes you, be gentle and patient with yourself. It is important to keep in mind that the biggest victory is trying your best and putting yourself out there.