“Saving Face” is Bullshit, and Here’s Why

You’ve heard it called all kinds of things. Saving face. Fake it ‘till you make it. Just smile and you’ll feel better. There’s even an entire Miranda Lambert song about it: “Go and fix your makeup, girl, it’s just a breakup. Run and hide your crazy, start actin’ like a lady.” 

I’m here to clear something up for you right now… that’s bullshit. (And it’s sexist. “Act like a lady”? But that’s another whole article.)

According to the American Association of Suicidology, America lost 44,193 people to suicide in 2015. In addition to that number, 1,104,825 people attempted suicide and survived. 

Depression can trick someone into thinking that nothing they have to say matters and that their feelings aren’t relevant. Combined with the social stigma surrounding mental illness, people with depression sometimes feel pressured to try to manage their symptoms alone; ignoring their feelings and putting on a happy face for the people around them.   

It often comes as a shock when someone commits or attempts suicide. Friends and family members sometimes aren’t aware that the person was depressed or having suicidal thoughts — a result of the person struggling with the disease feeling like it wasn’t appropriate or useful for them to speak out about how they were feeling.   

“We didn’t see it coming, she seemed fine.” 

“I didn’t even know he was depressed.” 

“She never said anything to me about feeling that way.”   

Depression is not something meant to be hidden. Opening the door for conversations about depression and suicide can (and WILL) quite literally save lives. 

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, don’t hesitate to speak up. You cannot be replaced. 

Find more about suicide awareness and prevention here.

[Thumbnail and body photo courtesy found at Pexels.com]

These views expressed are that of the writer and not of the chapter as a whole.

• depression
• mental health
• mental illness
• stigma
• Suicide Awareness