In college, life can seem exhilarating and daunting as you learn about everything there is to do at your university. There are countless organizations for every type of college student, activities and events held by your school and even new opportunities for on-campus jobs and internships. This may seem exciting because you can feel connected to those around you, try new things and get a sense of what you feel your purpose is. There’s one thing that we don’t talk about, however, and that is having the ability to say no.
Before we become college students, there is an idea that circulates around that we have to be involved. Being involved is what will set you apart from others. It will help you make a name for yourself and network with others who will help you in the future. While this idea may seem helpful and out of good intentions, we must also remind people to set boundaries for themselves. If we don’t talk about this, it can lead to extreme burnout.
To avoid spreading yourself thinner than a pancake, you have to learn how to say no to certain things. I think we’ve all been in a situation where we don’t want to go to something but feel obligated to stay committed to the event or organization. We feel like we HAVE to go because we are too afraid to say no for personal time or other commitments. This can cause conflict in our internal and external worlds. People may get mad at us for not trying to make an effort with them. Our jobs might get frustrated if we ask for too much time off. You may even feel dreadful after committing to so many things, despite how hard it is hard to balance them all.
When you get involved in an organization or activity, choose one that doesn’t demand too much from you to the point where you feel isolated and are not taking care of yourself. Don’t get active in ones that will interfere with your other responsibilities. Don’t let your identity and life revolve around these organizations. Finally, make time for you, so you can take care of yourself and recharge after a long day. When someone asks you to do something and it doesn’t work out in your schedule, or you feel as if you don’t have the best energy to do so, you can say no.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get involved in organizations at all. You signed up for them for a reason and you knew what you signed up for. It would be useless to sign up for things and not follow through. But it’s okay to let someone else take the reigns once in a while. More than anything, you need to take care of yourself. You’re not going to give your best work if you’re not well-rested or not taking time for you.
All in all, set boundaries for yourself and your involvement. Say yes to some things, say no to others. It’s all about balance. You know yourself better than anyone else and you know what you are capable of handling. It’s up to you to make these decisions. Be vocal and learn to say no. Because if you don’t, no one will truly know how you are feeling. Sometimes saying no and taking care of yourself is better than attending something and not being completely there. I hope you find your voice and know your limits.