A Daily Battle

Living life with mental illness can truly be exhausting. As someone that lives with multiple mental illnesses I feel as though I am never well rested and never fully at ease.

 

Whenever I say that I have anxiety I feel like people only relate that to school or work, but this applies to every aspect of my life. Even during school breaks and on my days off I will have that chest constricting feeling that something is wrong.

 

My anxiety lives in every part of my life. My anxiety allies perfectly with my personality disorder and my PTSD, and most days it feels like I am fighting a losing battle.

 

I have spent years working through my mental illnesses. I have been dealing with them since I was thirteen, and ten years later I feel like my progress is nothing to brag about.

 

I have practiced all the stereotypical coping mechanisms - some do work occasionally. I have to fight the urge to “fix” all my issues with sleep. I have to fight the urge to lose all progress and go back to my old coping mechanisms that only caused more issues.

 

Whenever I have these days, which happen a lot more frequently than not, I have to remind myself that even small progress is progress. Slow progress is still progress. Two steps forward and one step back is still progress.

 

I remind myself that going back to therapy is not failure, crying is not failure, and asking for help is the strongest thing I can do.

 

Feeling constantly overwhelmed and anxious is a daily battle and I have to remind myself that I am not fighting it alone. And to whoever is reading this, you are not fighting alone either.