Why Pop Princesses Understand Me Better Than My Therapist

No, like actually. 

A therapist once told me that the best way to understand my feelings was to journal everything out. 

I instead actively chose to scream my lungs out to the bridge of “All Too Well” by Taylor Swift.

It happens. 

At the end of the day, we’re all girls who just want to feel something. Whether it’s through the cathartic lyrics of “Casual” by Chappell Roan or the compelling urge to speed down the highway to the bridge of “Free Now” by Gracie Abrams, our brains crave emotional stimulation. 

As the devoted pop fangirl that I am, I decided that the best way to honor these iconic female artists would be to describe their incredible influence on our generation. In such a divided world, we ache to feel connected with one another, and music aids with just that. It is a powerful tool that induces collective processing, or in other words, the whole community of us that can cry to “Driver’s License” by Olivia Rodrigo or jam out to “Manchild” by Sabrina Carpenter. 

I remember the first (and only) time I saw Taylor Swift in concert. It was probably the best night of my entire life, and not just because I was actually watching her in real time instead of my phone screen. Rather, the collective bond I shared with every single fan around me as we danced, sang and cried to each song, healed me in a way I’d never thought possible. 

And yes, making eye contact with Taylor while she tore out an absolute killer surprise song (aka loml) was an added bonus. 

From what I’ve gathered, it seems that each artist stands for a unique type of emotional breakdown. Olivia proved that rage can be poetic, Reneé Rapp demonstrated the fun of being just a little bit petty, and Taylor taught us the importance of feeling our emotions. 

In a way, these songs dissect some of those feelings that we just can’t name. They channel our confusing emotions into cinematic bridge sections and chart-topping beats. In fact, it’s often what is considered the most messy, vulnerable feeling that is communicated through these songs. Of course, pop stars can’t replace literal therapy (psychology degrees exist for a reason), but they have a special way of translating it. Real psychological ideas, such as boundaries or attachment styles, are uniquely enhanced into glitter and catchy melodies. 

I’ll bet that there’s a song for every situation…just ask Spotify. If  “my nonexistent boyfriend broke my heart” doesn’t pop up as a playlist, then I don’t know what to tell you. 

Here are a few of my favorite suggestions: 

1. Am I the problem? 

• “Liability” by Lorde
• “I Love You, I’m Sorry” by Gracie Abrams
• “Champagne Problems” by Taylor Swift
• “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift

2. I just want to dance in my room with my hairbrush.

• “Manchild” by Sabrina Carpenter
• “Dancing On My Own” by Robyn
• “Sue Me” by Audrey Hobert
• “Love is Embarrassing” by Olivia Rodrigo

3. I can finally let go of that month-long situationship (seriously girl, move on).

• “Free Now” by Gracie Abrams
• “Goodbye” by Sabrina Carpenter
• “Thank u, next” by Ariana Grande
• “The Subway” by Chappell Roan 

In this day and age, girl pop is a method of modern storytelling that brings us even closer together as individuals. It feels different in the sense that we feel comfort in knowing that someone understands what we are going through. These artists teach us that it is okay to be vulnerable and express our emotions, whether we have to punch a pillow, sob uncontrollably or lay on the horn to prove that it haunts us (please tell me you get the reference). 

And sure, therapy is great. It is incredibly useful and probably the ideal option for processing our feelings and/or trauma. However, until these licensed professionals release their hit breakup albums, I’ll be leaning on the girls with the Grammy nominations. While they don’t exactly take insurance, they accept my endless Spotify streams and that’s enough for me. 

• community
• mental health
• music
• Pop princesses
• therapy