In case you were unsure, plans with yourself to binge-watch Netflix and down a bottle of wine on the couch still count as being “busy.” A lot of the time, we fall into the trap of thinking we can’t say no to doing something we aren’t entirely thrilled about because we don’t have a valid excuse. Well, I’m here to tell you that if you’d rather eat dino-shaped nuggets in bed while scrolling through TikTok, you have every right to say no to other plans. Of course, saying yes and putting yourself out there is great, but if you need the “me time” to replenish and recharge, take it. Otherwise, you will expend all of your energy on others and end up resenting them when you find yourself feeling drained. This is called protecting your peace.
Protecting your peace is all about setting the necessary boundaries and then respecting them because if you can’t respect your own boundaries, nobody else will. Protecting your peace requires you to be in tune with your actual needs and wants as well as realize what triggers any unhappiness. Once I started realizing that certain people didn’t serve a purpose in my life, I was able to make the necessary adjustments and started putting my happiness and needs first. The key to protecting your peace is to be selfish. Being selfish has negative connotations, but I think being selfish is the best thing you can do. If you do not put yourself first, you will never be able to show up fully for those around you.
Protecting your peace can be difficult at times because it can mean cutting people out of your life. We often attract people into our lives depending on our own lifestyle, habits and mindset. However, throughout life these things are constantly changing, therefore we might find that when we are ready to shift to a new level, some of the people in our lives are no longer well-suited for us. This doesn’t necessarily mean they are bad people or that you have to cut them out completely, but recognizing when someone no longer serves a valuable purpose in your life may lead you to want to limit their access to you. For example, if you have a friend that loves going out and partying with you every weekend, and you are no longer interested in that lifestyle, it would be best to either find other activities to do together or simply limit your contact with them. If you have friends who love to gossip and are all about drama, you should love them from a distance while you are shifting into the next phase of your life. While it was painful at first, I’ve had to distance myself in the past from people who were limiting me in order to get myself to the level of where I wanted to be. Had I stayed in those relationships or friendships, my life would be completely different now.
Another thing I like to do at least once a month to keep my peace is a deep de-clutter. This goes for everything, from my closet to my computer and even to my mental state. When we’re caught up in the day-to-day, it is easy to let things that we don’t necessarily need or want in our lives pile up. Even with the amount of de-cluttering that I do, every time I go back at it, there is so much more that has piled on since the last time. Clutter takes up unnecessary space in our homes and minds, and that makes it difficult to focus on anything else. With clutter thrown away, we can shift our attention to the things that actually matter in our lives and make us happy.
Your peace and happiness should be your number one priority. If something is not making you happy or adding value to your life, it does not need to be there. Life is too short to live in ways that we do not want to, and thus protecting your peace is the most important thing. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to simply say no.