Dealing with FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) can be tricky, especially in a college environment where socializing feels like a must. Discovering new ways to alleviate unwanted social pressure allows us to reveal outlets towards our internal pleasures despite conflicting external influences. Entering a setting with thousands of unfamiliar faces and the desire to fulfill expectations of attaining the perfect “college experience” is thrilling, yet cutthroat. With endless opportunities to explore new connections and social involvements, it is inevitable to feel as though it is a necessity to maximize each chance, but the truth is, we cannot be everywhere all the time.
FOMO fully captures that unsettling feeling that engulfs our minds in stress, with worries that our lack of presence is going to hinder us socially. It sounds silly to consider spending a night in, rather than one out with friends, but in reality, FOMO is more about one’s self-image and the longing for deeper, intimate connections with others. While it’s true that FOMO does include the itch for wanting to have a good time, it’s also the anxiety associated with the fear of having a lack of social connection and self-belonging. It’s the envy that inflates in your stomach and chest, while knowing others are partaking in social experiences, but your opportunity to make new friends or gain some sort of social stimulation is just out of reach. Your peers begin talking about that event happening later this week – the one that falls on the night you promised yourself you would stay home and finally get organized. You start to sit and wonder what could occur if you attend. Would you meet the love of your life? Your future bridesmaids? Will you see everyone posting online about it later? Would this night become an inside joke you’re left out of next month?
It’s almost like studying at a coffee shop when you’ve already had your daily dose of caffeine. Slowly, you start disengaging from those class assignments and begin noticing everyone around you with an aesthetic latte. You want to give in so badly, but you know you shouldn’t. The more you try to resist, the more you want to give in. Really, though, none of us would have become so caught up in that iced vanilla cold brew if we weren’t constantly comparing our lives to others.
Funneling FOMO out of our mentalities heavily relies on recognizing the prosperity of self-order and balance, which is easier said than done. The first step is truly understanding how little we would actually miss if we had just stayed home. Investigating our feelings provides a firsthand source in which we get to intellectually know and feel what it’s like to not be missing much at all. The key is, if you want to go out, go out. Put yourself in social settings that excite you. Allow yourself to truly experience. Most importantly, though, pay attention to how being in these environments affects your mind and body. It’s going to feel rewarding and right when you’re in the place most suitable for you. Your body will naturally accept or reject what is going to benefit you versus what is going to hold you back from achieving your goals and bringing you onto the path towards self-growth. Once you finally put confidence in comprehending and appreciating what you can offer yourself, improving other aspects of your life takes precedence over attempting to reach the unrealistic fantasy of being in every single possible social space. Enjoy the company of others, but keep a balance between an insightful social life and the merit in spending time with the person you should get to know best: you. FOMO is something all of us have probably felt at some point or another, especially when there’s always something happening and so many people to keep up with. It’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind the curve when the ball is in constant motion. What’s truly important is allowing yourself to experience mistakes, learning the best way for you to maintain a balance and setting yourself up for productivity (and an equal portion of fun). When that anxiety starts to creep up on you, it’s crucial to remember you can still find joy in the little things and take pride in channeling your focus and energy on the life you want to make for yourself, even through the most simple pleasures. I personally love to look forward to the days where I have fun things planned, and to enjoy the simple things in my life like watching my favorite show at the end of a long day, finally completing all of my assignments or getting a fun drink from Starbucks. Showing up for myself has consistently proven to me that I always have at least one person to rely on, whether that’s for a hangout or a day of relaxation. You can turn the anxiety that you’re missing something into gratitude that you have more free time to focus on you! After all, our lives are exactly what we make of them. If we’re constantly in fear of missing an intangible self-set social expectation, we’re going to miss the beauty in what’s right in front of us.