Speaking out regarding mental health has always been frowned upon. People that struggle with mental health have been seen as weak, fake, incapable, and overly sensitive. But whether people like it or not, we all have our mental health battles. It could easily be an overwhelming amount of stress, body dysmorphia, anxiety, OCD, etc.
I’ve struggled with mental health since I was fifteen. It was a time that I fell into the hole of social media and compared myself to face-tuned photos of other people and fake Instagram models. When I was underweight, my high school peers told me that I had to “put some meat on my bones.” When I gained more weight, the same people said that I had “arms like bat wings” and looked like my shorts didn’t fit me. People were never satisfied with my appearance, and this put me in a very toxic mindset. As a typical high school first- and second-year student who was immature and trying to fit in, I didn’t know any better. I struggled to find my circle, make genuine friends, and discover my self-identity. I believe high school is where my social anxieties stemmed from. I dealt with so much envy, judgment, and racism.
When I was about to turn eighteen, I fell into the worst depression. I had no motivation to get up in the morning, change out of clothes, talk to anyone, or even grab my phone to check the time. I was in a stinking hole that I felt would be an infinite feeling. Thankfully, I had a support system at home, and my family guided me to go to therapy. After about a year of treatment, antidepressants, meditation, and journaling, I was able to feel like myself again. Finally, my soul came back to its home, my body.
I’ve always been one to want to do everything myself. I’m very stubborn, don’t like to be told what to do, and don’t like to ask for help. But if it wasn’t for therapy, I don’t think I would be sitting here today, writing this. And that’s why I felt drawn to talk about mental health, how real it is, and how genuinely difficult the struggles are. It is an illness; it is a disease to be clouded with so many eerie thoughts that it affects your daily way of living. Mental struggles are just as valid as physical struggles, if not more.
It’s important to note that while you may see everyone living a perfect life on social media, they could be different behind closed doors. I know I was.
While I have overcome severe depression, I still struggle with anxiety and significant amounts of OCD. In fact, my anxiety and stress have been so acute lately that I’m searching for a new therapist. I think I outgrew the one that I’ve had since I was in high school. She was a great help to me, but I think it’s time for someone else to help me guide my soul on this long life journey.
If there’s anything I’ve learned along this journey, it would be that asking for help is the definition of strength. Asking for help is okay. Asking for help is part of life.