Wait guysssss, I fear we’ve become a little too obsessed with having our lives together. Like, why am I feeling guilty about going out with my friends on a Saturday night because some girl on TikTok told me I should be waking up at 5 a.m., drinking bone broth, and getting 10,000 steps in before breakfast? I’m literally 21 years old. Do we MIND and can we pretty please relax???
And the worst part is that I’m absolutely part of the problem. I LOVE a good routine. Nothing makes me feel more awesome than a week of eating healthy, going to the gym, getting my assignments done early, and convincing myself I’ve finally become one of those girls who has her life together. But I also love going out with my friends, making questionable (dumb) decisions, and spending the following day doing absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, my brain has decided these two versions of myself cannot coexist.
Stop Asking Me To Attend Your 8 A.M. Pilates Class
There is truly nothing more humbling than waking up with the worst ‘Sunday Scaries‘ of your life, opening your blinds, and seeing a group of girls jogging down the street in matching workout sets. Like, congratulations on being God’s strongest soldiers, but some of us are fighting for our lives here.
And yes, before anyone says anything, a significant part of my resentment comes from jealousy. I would LOVE to be the girl who wakes up at 8 a.m., goes to Pilates, gets a matcha, and has already walked 10,000 steps before I’ve even considered getting out of bed. But unfortunately, I had a really fun Saturday night, and my DIML consists of a Diet Coke, a DoorDash order, and at least a six-hour debrief with my roommates about everything that happened.
Honestly, there’s something beautiful about a proper Sunday rot day. Eight girls sitting around the living room, looking like we snuck onto Earth, collectively piecing together the events of the night before. Someone is ordering food, someone is still in their going-out clothes, and someone (everyone) is announcing that they’re never drinking again — a statement we all know has a relatively short expiration date. These are THE important bonding experiences, people.
Yet somehow, even when I’ve had the best weekend ever, I catch myself feeling guilty for not doing something more productive. Like, sorryyyyyy I didn’t go on a sunrise run, but I did spend four hours laughing so hard with my friends that my stomach hurt. Does that not count as an ab workout these days???
When Did Having Fun Become So Unproductive?
I genuinely think TikTok has convinced our generation that every waking moment needs to contribute to our personal development. Every time I open the app, someone my age is showing me their 15-step morning routine, explaining why I need to be taking magnesium (actually take it though — best sleep everrrr), or telling me the seven habits that changed their life. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to figure out what I’m eating for dinner.
And the worst part is that I actually WANT to be one of these people. I see a girl post her 6 a.m. workout, perfectly balanced breakfast, and color-coded Google Calendar, and suddenly I’m reconsidering every decision I’ve made in the last 48 hours. Like, I was perfectly happy with my life five minutes ago. Why am I now convinced I need to completely reinvent myself by Monday?
I think what frustrates me most is how easily this mentality makes perfectly normal college experiences feel like failures. Sleeping in after a night out? Wasted morning. Spending an entire afternoon gossiping with your roommates? Unproductive. Skipping a workout to go to the beach with your friends? Suddenly, you’re apparently throwing away months of progress.
Like, HELLOOOO. We’re in college. Since when did having fun require this much mental justification?
Can Everyone Please Unlock for a Second?
And it’s not even just the health and wellness stuff. Apparently, we’re also supposed to be networking, building our personal brands, securing internships, making connections, and figuring out what we’re doing for the next 40 years. Mind you, I still have my dad do my taxes.
I genuinely think LinkedIn might be one of the worst things to ever happen to my mental health. If someone handed me a million dollars right now, my first order of business would be getting that app removed from the App Store. Permanently. Nothing sends me into a spiral faster than opening LinkedIn and seeing someone my age announce that they’re “thrilled to share” they’ve accepted their fourth internship at some company I’ve never heard of. Congratulations, seriously, but I was literally just proud of myself for remembering to submit an assignment before 11:59 p.m.
And listen, I get it. We’re graduating soon, the job market is scary, and unfortunately, we do need to think about our futures. I’m not suggesting we collectively withdraw our graduate school applications and spend the rest of our lives at Dargan’s. I just don’t understand why it feels like we’re already supposed to have accomplished everything before we’ve even graduated.
I think that’s what bothers me about this whole obsession with being locked in. There’s always something else we could be doing to get ahead, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to just exist without feeling like we’re wasting time. If I’m not working on my future career, I should be exercising. If I’m not exercising, I should be studying. If I’m not studying, I should apparently be developing a new skill or doing something that will look impressive on a resume. At what point am I allowed to just sit on my couch and be an idiot with my friends?
I’m not saying I want to spend my entire 20s being irresponsible. I have goals, I’m excited about my future, and I fully intend to eventually (in the far, far future) become a functioning adult. But I also think we have a pretty substantial amount of time ahead of us to worry about work, careers, and being productive. I’m 21. I would like to occasionally make a decision based on whether it sounds fun rather than whether it’s going to benefit me professionally, physically, or financially.
In Defense of Being a Little Useless
To clarify, I’m absolutely not suggesting we abandon our health, responsibilities, or general well-being. I still want my eight hours of sleep, my vegetables, my gym routine, and a somewhat functioning liver. I just don’t think every single thing I do needs to be contributing to some greater self-improvement mission.
Also, I know going out isn’t everyone’s idea of fun. Some people genuinely enjoy waking up at 7 a.m. on a Sunday and going for a six-mile run. Personally, I have several questions, but I respect it.
I think I just want to stop feeling guilty for acting my age. I can care about my future and still have a stupid night out with my friends. I can be excited about graduating and still be completely unprepared for the concept of having a full-time job. And I can spend an entire Sunday doing absolutely nothing without treating it like some catastrophic failure of self-discipline.
We have our whole lives to be locked in. For now, I’d really like to enjoy being a college student without constantly feeling like I should be doing something more impressive with my time.
So if you need me next Sunday, I’ll probably be on my couch, Diet Coke in hand, discussing a night that was absolutely not worth the Monday morning anxiety.
And to the girls running laps around IV at 8 a.m., I hope you know I admire you. I also hope you know I’m watching you through my blinds with a level of bitterness that is frankly extremely undeserved.