“You know, I use organic products, but I get lasers. It’s what makes life interesting, finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu.” In 2013, Harper’s Bazaar published an interview with actress—and more recently, entrepreneur—Gwyneth Paltrow. The article is probably most known for the quote above pertaining to the cigarettes, tofu, and lasers. This specific quote has subsequently gone viral, sometimes in tweets and TikToks created to scrutinize Paltrow, other times in lighthearted videos pertaining to the star’s funniest and most “iconic” moments. As an actress, Gwyneth Paltrow is certainly no stranger to the spotlight, having acted in all kinds of films, including grimy psychological thrillers of the 90’s like Seven, Oscar winning works such as Shakespeare in Love, cult indie films like the Royal Tenenbaums, and more recently Marvel films.
Even if you don’t know Paltrow from any of her on-screen projects, you may be familiar with one or two of her intriguing controversies. Her wellness brand, Goop, once notoriously marketed a $66 jade egg (intended to be put inside the vagina to prevent uterine prolapse and regulate hormones), which later incited a $145,000 lawsuit. She has also made a few interesting statements regarding dietary choices, such as “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can”. Her ski accident also made waves in 2023, when a retired optometrist sued her for $3 million after a 2016 ski crash in Utah. Paltrow won, famously whispering “I wish you well” in the ear of the plaintiff before departing.
While the idea of “finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu” does seem to follow a similar vein of laughable absurdity present in a few of Gwyneth’s most famous statements and actions, the basis of this quote absolutely rings true. Paltrow isn’t telling us that finding some physical and consumable medium between cigarettes and tofu will help us achieve equilibrium and therefore satisfaction in life. What she means is that both are okay, in moderation. The greater happiness of life isn’t dependent on choosing one avenue and sticking to it, like being a tofu-obsessed wellness guru, or on the other hand, a chainsmoking partier with a new and crazy story from every night. In fact, I’ve found through personal experience that it’s nearly impossible to live your life completely in “tofu” mode, or in “cigarette” mode.
As a college student, specifically at UCSB, where the unofficial motto is “work hard, play hard”, finding my balance has proven quite difficult. Nearly everyone is active, and each day you see students jogging at sunset, surfing, or at the rec cen—which is frequently aggravatingly overcrowded. Our student population isn’t only physically active, but also academically driven. We are no strangers to the academic pressures present at major institutions like UC schools, and therefore studying hard is a non-negotiable. Interestingly, working hard’s other half here at UCSB is “playing” just as hard, a feature not quite as present in lots of other large universities. From the balcony of my home in Isla Vista, I watch masses of students swarming and staggering down the streets most Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and sometimes even Sundays. You can hear everyone and everything around you, despite the noise ordinance enforced by midnight every weekend. It can be so difficult to refrain from joining the surrounding loudness, when it seems like everybody is going out and has something interesting going on. It isn’t, unfortunately, hard at all to go too far. Blackout culture thrives in Isla Vista, and with access to countless parties every week, and markets that will accept your ID even if it is peeling apart and the signature is obviously a typed font, indulging can be a little too easy.
Not only is said equilibrium difficult to maintain for college students, but for the larger culture of young women as well. Many of us have fallen victim to the “wellness girl” aesthetic, which often promotes an image a fit young woman, who wakes up at 6 am to go to hot yoga, drinks bitter green juice and pretends to love the sewer water taste, and has a beautiful cabinet filled with rhode skincare. TikTok and Instagram glorify images of this girl, turning her into a standard for how we are expected to live in order to look healthy, but still effortlessly beautiful. It is rare though for us to sustainably achieve this aesthetic, and often our efforts can turn sour. Last year, I sat at the dining hall, scanning the nutrition facts on a soggy, gray, sponge-like piece of “strawberry” bread, trying to determine if its sugar content was too high to be worth eating. I’ve exhausted my legs, taking 15,000 step “hot girl walks” to try and achieve peace of mind, which the internet told me that long walks would obviously help me to do. I’ve given myself caffeine induced headaches, thinking that if I fill up on 24 oz iced cold brews from the campus cafe, I could compensate for going out that night and potentially making poor food and drink choices. This warped mindset reminds me of a TikTok video I’ve seen a few times, usually a video of a girl on a walk or at the gym, overlaid by a caption saying something like “cosplaying wellness girlie so I can drink like a middle-aged man tonight”. None of these things ultimately worked for me, nor did they make me feel “well”. My “tofu” was beginning to eat me alive.
I know that many girls have also been influenced by the splashy lifestyle of famous party girls, wanting to live out their collegiate years like Alix Earle when she was at the University of Miami, getting dressed up to go out every night and then posting relatable, anxiety provoked storytimes the next morning. Although this lifestyle can be fun and spontaneous, for many, it can leave us feeling stressed, and even out of control. I’ve sat in my school library, listening to a little, cigarette shaped devil on my shoulder telling me I am running out of time. It tells me that I am so stupid for partying the night before, and that I am stupid for not being able to remember if it was early Egyptian or Nubian tombs that were characterized by flexed burial positions. It makes me think that I should’ve stayed in all week, pouring over my ancient and poorly printed PDFs of archaeological burial evidence each night.
I’ve now learned that I am not wrong for wanting to do it all. Wanting to be the best in all aspects of your life is natural, and is a common standard among students, young women, and honestly most people. Now understanding that cigarettes and tofu won’t work out for everybody, we need to approach a new solution— one that in this case, has been cryptically spelled out for us via the advice of Gwyneth Paltrow. Let yourself prioritize wellness, but also have fun, but don’t let either take over your life. Identify your passions, and allow them space, but also be smart about not letting them ultimately become your vices, which may end up attempting to consume you. I doubt anyone has ever truly found perfect harmony between these two things, but I think part of life’s satisfaction simply comes from knowing that you are trying.