The idea of leading a balanced life has been both comforting and intimidating to me. On days when I can’t seem to get out of bed or accomplish anything, I take solace in the thought that tomorrow will be productive and, in a way, erase my lazy day.
The intimidating part comes when I wake up the next day and still don’t get anything done. Sometimes, that “lazy” feeling stretches into an entire week.
I could turn this article into a discussion about the many problems with labeling days as productive or lazy, how that mindset is really a product of capitalist values, and how simply existing makes you productive in your own right. But I digress.Â
This is about balance. After those lazy days, I often feel overwhelmed by guilt, thinking I need to be super productive in the days that follow to “make up” for taking time to relax.
The all-or-nothing mindset has caused trouble before, and this is just another example. Believing a balanced life means making every day, or even every week, perfectly balanced is outdated… and frankly, illogical.
Days shouldn’t be judged as good or bad based solely on what tasks you checked off your list.
I’m sure many of you know that sitting on the couch with your roommates, sharing stories about the night before, can be just as emotionally fulfilling as finishing a paper or having a great workout. Yet society often labels that time as “rotting,” while writing and exercising are celebrated as productive and virtuous.
The point is that true balance requires letting go of these harmful labels, but I realize that’s easier said than done.
To shift your mindset about productivity and move closer to that elusive balanced life, I believe the best step is to zoom out and see the bigger picture.
For example, last week I binge-watched two seasons of my favorite show on Netflix, took probably a dozen Buzzfeed quizzes, and spent a surprising number of hours watching moms on TikTok share their daily routines.Â
By conventional standards of productivity, I did basically nothing last week. Sure, I now know what type of pasta shape I am, and at what time a TikTok mom clocks into work, but my schoolwork, internship projects, and even this article didn’t get done.
The week before wasn’t much better. But last month? I was basically a machine. Every school assignment? Completed ahead of time. Internship work? Done with enthusiasm. I moved my body daily and even hit a new personal record on my back squat!
Heading into May, I felt great, ready for another “productive” month. But May had other plans.
Because I wasn’t checking off every task with energy and ease, or sometimes not completing them at all, I started feeling down about myself. My life definitely didn’t feel balanced.
But this time, instead of spiraling into thoughts about not being enough, I chose to see things differently. Maybe achieving balance means stepping back and viewing my life as a whole, giving myself permission to simply live.
Sometimes living looks like crushing deadlines or running a marathon. Other times, it’s getting lost in a movie or laughing through a game night with friends. The worth of a day, or a life, shouldn’t hinge on a narrow, subjective label like whether it was “productive” or not.
I used to think balance meant finding the perfect equation: three days of hard work, two days of rest, and maybe a spontaneous vacation thrown in to spice it up. But life doesn’t work like that. It’s unpredictable. People get sick, plans fall through, burnout hits out of nowhere. And sometimes, even with nothing “wrong,” your body or brain just says, not today.
What I’m learning is that balance isn’t about symmetry. It’s about flow. It’s about giving yourself what you need in the moment and trusting that, over time, it will even out.Â
One thing that’s helped me is asking myself, Did I give myself what I needed today? Not what I “should” have done, not what society might praise me for, but what I truly needed. Some days that’s movement and structure. Other days, it’s stillness and softness.Â
This shift doesn’t happen overnight, and I still catch myself slipping into guilt. But reminding myself that balance is a long game, a lifelong game, really, helps quiet the noise.
So if you’re reading this while in a slump, or riding a high, or somewhere in between, I hope you know you’re doing just fine. Balance isn’t a destination. It’s a practice.